New here and looking for some guidance and suggestions.
Caregiver who is and has been going through burnout, and possibly depression. Father passed nearly four years ago, and lived with me for his last six months. Was independent, and was able to feed himself, bathe himself, and walk independently. Hospice came by to check on him, doctor came by as well, social worker kept in contact, and priest came by as well. he was 81, and had had two aneurysms.
Mother had blood clot in her leg, and had been sitting on the floor for two days unable to move. Family friend came by to check on her, found her, brother was on a plane and took her to hospital. Was on a blood thinner and did not do well on rehabilitation at hospital. Went to a rehab. facility after leaving hospital, and did not meet expectations there. Was basically put out "streeted" was the term used, and just could not live by herself anymore. Could not do the steps more than once a day, and wanted to stay since it was her home. Brought her down to NC, and she lives with me for three months, and then with my brother in GA. back and forth. Fix breakfast in the morning, leave it in the microwave, and put toothpaste on her toothbrush, leave out clothes, and wash cloth and soap. Some days she remembers to wash up, and others she does not. Currently wears depends, and puts on two at a time while not realizing this. Is not aware of the days of the week as well. Take her to adult day care two days out of the week, and she enjoys the interaction with other adults. Extremely hard to see your mother not knowing what is going on around her, and being hit with tons of questions upon entering the house. She watches the news all day long when she is not at the day care, so I just sit in the car to decompress a little before entering the house. She has never had a full time job, but rather little part time jobs here and there. So she does not "know" what it is like to work a 8 hour day and then come home. I typically come home and answer her questions about what she has seen on television for the day, and go somewhere and just unwind for a little bit. Then I fix dinner and we eat. When she is with my brother, she gets meals on wheels, and some other senior benefits since her social security goes to GA. It would take so long to switch the states back and forth from what i was told by social security in the past.
I love my mom, and have no problems doing anything for her at all. I am concerned about myself now, and am having problems sleeping, concentrating, eating, weight gain from lack of exercise or physical activity, focusing, and the like. I don't know how to take some time out to do something for myself, and it is really becoming a serious problem now. I take care of my sons every other weekend, and thankfully they are teenagers so food and a computer/television and they are ok. The oldest sits with her and they typically watch sports together, but she does not fully understand the scores, so it is repeated to her. Her brothers and sister are two hours away, and sometimes call or i will dial the phone for her to talk to them. My brother and I are four hours apart, and that is my only means of support currently. She does not wander or anything, but is now eating food out of the refrigerator on her own even thought i have made sandwiches for her. Last week she took items out of the freezer, and placed them in the refrigerator, and did not realize what she had done. I just stopped ,and asked her what happened, and she apologized. I sent her back to my brothers house, because it was time, and I was not able to give her the proper care with everything going on with me. I look at the different responses on here, and tryo to figure out a game plan going forward, so that when she returns it will be a little bit more manageable. Thanks