I loaned out my most precious possession and they sent her home broken.

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I posted on my anti nursing home rant yesterday about my experience placing mom in respite care for the week. This morning she is weak, I almost dropped her on the way to the bathroom. I've switched out the walker for her wheelchair, but I don't know how her psw will ever be able to bathe her today. I sure hope this isn't permanent.


Cwillie, moves even if temporary are very hard on them. I am not saying the respite should not have happened! You needed the break. Mom will probably return to close to her "normal" fairly quickly. The increased weakness I also saw in my mom after respite three years ago, and now with placement in a facility that will be permament now I imagine.

When my mom was in respite they decided to treat he anxiety with 5mg of xanax nightly, which built up in her system. Once the xanax was stopped at home, then her strength improved though she needed physical therapy for awhile.
A www, what a sad thread title. Breaks hearts, it does. I'm betting on the power of your love for her...that her decline is temporary...and a week or so back in your protective embrace will bring her back.

As for the respite care. If you post on here that you feel guilty now about availing yourself of that opportunity? I will fly thru the screen and wag my lecturing finger in your face. (Hugs)
As I recall from your other post, the respite care wasn't exactly as it should have been, and both of you were upset, so there could be 2 things going on:

1. Your mother is in fact still adjusting, and the emotional challenges of last week are still lingering, or

2. The facility didn't provide her with enough opportunity to safely walk.

It could also be that she was just weak this particular morning; that's happened a lot with my father, sometimes depending on how much protein he's had recently. Also happens to me, probably from low potassium levels.

How does she get into the tub to be bathed? Perhaps the PSW can find alternate methods to help her stay clean until she's stronger on her feet.

Could you get some short term therapy for her to help her regain her strength?

Hang in there, it's still early in the day and hopefully things will get a lot better as she gets used to her more familiar surroundings. Make today a special day for both of you; just enjoy your time together and forget about everything else.
awh cwillie, I do feel for you. So sorry you and mom had such a bad experience with respite. It shouldn't be that way...

I noticed when I placed my own precious possession for my week of respite, she seemed to sleep all the time. Well, every time I visited her she was asleep, even her home carer visited her every day and mom was sleepy. I asked several times if they were giving her those "comfort" meds. The answer was always no. However, when they sent her home she had full containers of meds and her morphine was also full.

Give mom a few days to recover from her respite stay. Shower her with lots of love and attention and I have no doubt she will bounce back!! ((((hugs)))
Jeanette, what sort of respite was this for you if you visited her every day? Just sayin.
glad, I didn't say I visited her every day, if you read what I posted I said when I visited she was sleepy. I did say her home carer visited her every day. She has another elderly lady she takes care of 5 days a week just down the road from the hospice house. SHE went by every day. SHE took care of mom at home, 3 hours/3 days a week for a year. WE both were very protective of my mother. glad, take your time and read what is said. Just sayin...
Thanks for the comments everyone. Mom had a sponge bath for today, and she was able to walk a little after lunch so I'm sure with time she will be fine. It just galls me that many of the problems she had at the nursing home should have never happened, especially since I was there every day if they needed me to clarify anything. Add the fact I was told more than once that everything was "just fine". Everyone seemed kind and pleasant, there was no shortage of staff, so it has to be the whole institutional mindset that reduces the residents to just another bed/mouth/diaper.
Jeanette, sorry I misunderstood.

Cwillie, these moves are very difficult for them. There will always be things that come up that are not anticipated. I am sure they are doing the best they can but it will never be the same as the one on one care they get at home.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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