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...After being estranged from my mother for the past 4 years, the good Lord has choose me to be the main one to oversee her care. She is 86 with advanced dementia, she had a physical last week and her body is top shape for the most part. She’s never been on meds until THURS when DR prescribed Trazadone to aid in her sleep. (HOPEFULLY) She lived with a "guy" that took advantage of her and her finances these past 4 years. He conned her into marriage which kept family and H & W hands tied. The courts gave my sis & me guardianship/conservatorship in JULY. These past few months have been a challenge to say the least; doors have opened right when I wondered what are we to do? We found an ALC a mile from my home, and moved her in 10 days ago, the management is subpar, and the aids are good except for a couple. She is able to have her own “studio” that allows us privacy and I’m able to work on her body to help unwind her nervous system. She is VERY restless and hasn’t had but one or two full night sleep since we got her. (Who knows how long it has been?) I know it takes time to meld into a new environment, I hope she can settle down because I’m not sure that she will be able to continue to be at this facility. She sees a Geriatric Psychiatrist tomorrow that hopefully will shed light on what might help her to calm down.
In my search to find a place for her to live I’m saddened at what little training there is for memory care aids. If I hadn’t volunteered these past 2 years at the Veterans home and spent many of hours on the memory care unit I know I wouldn’t have been as prepared as I am to help her.
Lord willing we can take the con to the cleaners in the divorce and recover some finances and most importantly get him for neglect.
Thanks for letting me share; I have read post over the past months that have helped me.
Blessings on ya all. ~M

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Yoldaho, I'm sorry to hear this. I don't have experience on these situation but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. HUGS!!!
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Well things are not looking very good these past few days our mother has become more agitated and restless, got a call today that she needs to go get an evaluation at a hospital or pack up and leave tomorrow. I know that she's very miserable, we are beside ourselves, the staff is ill equipped for the most part to handle her condition. None of the kids are currently able to take on the full time job of caring for her. We will probably have her evaluated & medicated and hope it's not too much. Untrodden waters aren't always easy to maneuver through when you hit the rapids. ~M :-/
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Welcome yeah your hands are full all right. I have a 93 y.o. mom in a nursing home - she has mild dementia & quite frankly, I'm exhausted. the grief of losing my beloved Dad in Nov '09 is catcing up with me too, so I'm just tired!!! Right now I feel physically ill & it's from all the crying I just did over my Dad. I think I'm mildly depressed & in caregiver burnout. Yaldaho, thank you for sharing your story & we are here to listen, offer help & support you - hugs
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Welcome Yoldaho, sounds like you have your hands full... fantastic about having those years of work to be able to help and understand what her needs are.... please keep us updated about her appt. and what progress is being made...and how YOU are doing... that's important too... we are here to support you...you are not alone with this...hugs
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Thanks for sharing.
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Yoldaho, you have been through so much. Welcome to the group! I'm glad the pseudo-husband is out of the picture now.
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Welcome to the forums, YoIdaho. Please let us know what the geriatric psychiatrist comes up with tomorrow. I hope it will be helpful to your mother, though whatever it is probably won't work miracles overnight.
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