Follow
Share

So after decades of caring for my mother, I am told life goes on....it's been 6 months since her passing and I find myself in a rut. Some days are better than others though. I am dealing with guilt, among many other feelings, as you may know, I am now an only child, not only did 6 siblings of mine not offer to help with her care giving, none of them helped with her memorial either. Thank God for husband and child of mine. I also am relieved that her suffering has finally ended. I miss her all day, I knew I would though....I know what you're going to say: go back to work/school, volunteer, etc. I need to get myself back in good physical shape as well as emotional first. Thanks for listening, you always have.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing

5 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
Dear use2bhapi,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself. The first year of grief is so hard. I, too, had so much anger with my siblings for not being more involved. Or even caring about what I had to do because they weren't willing. Take care your time and I hope things are getting a little better each day. Thinking of you.
(2)
Report
it does go on, but that doesn't, alas, mean always in a happy or meaningful way. I hope that in time, things will start looking up. As you say, good emotional shape comes first. Good luck.
(2)
Report
Hello used2bhapi, my mom died in May. I had taken care of her for 15 years (and my dad for 8 of those years as well). I have a brother who lives across the country and never did anything to speak of for either parent. He hadn't been back to see mom in seven years when she died (and he didn't come back then either). He didn't come back for my dad either. He's a retired multi-millionaire with no kids, so no real excuse for his lack of involvement. So I definitely get the non-involvement of siblings. I'm still deciding what (if any) relationship with my brother I want to have. I'm never married, no kids, so it's just me and my little world of friends.

I am at peace with my mom's passing and enjoying figuring out who I am at this point in my life with no one to take care of except for myself. I am starting on the physical side of myself (taking Pilates). I want to get back in decent physical shape. I'm figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Surely your mom wouldn't want you to be this sad or missing her this much? Can you shift the focus to celebrate the life she lived and be happy that you were a part of it? I know I did everything I could to make my mom and dad's lives the best they could be and it sounds like you did the same for your mom. So that chapter of my life is over and I'm at peace with letting it go and remembering it fondly. I hope you can come to the same place of peace and acceptance with where you are and you can move forward with a happy and hopeful heart. {{{Hugs}}}
(2)
Report
Blessings to you.
(1)
Report
Oh, used2bhap, I'm sure we have some things in common, and for that I'm sorry for you. My siblings could never 'see' things the way that I do. I know what it's like to feel very alone in this. Know that I'll think of you and remember you in prayer. And ...I hope that each day gets just a little easier for you.
(7)
Report
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter