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There have been so many losses on AgingCare lately...Since the loss of your loved one, how are you getting through your days? Moving foreward? Coping?What is helping you? Not helping you? How are you surviving without your dear loved one?

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(((CWillie))), you did wonderfully by your mom. I'm sure your tenderness, love and holding her hand those many, many times helped to ease the fears that she had.
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cwillie - You express yourself beautifully. 🧡
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More hugs
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Cwillie
raw, honest emotions

hugs to you tonight
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I can't stop thinking about the minister saying how she yearned for rest, she was ready to leave - but that is a lie based on his own beliefs, I know she struggled so long and hard to stay, was so afraid to let go. I remember how I hated her so much when I reached burnout, how I doubted everything I ever knew or loved about her. How the months in the nursing home allowed me to heal from that, to find a tender place in my heart for her, to pity the shell that she had become. I spent so many afternoons just holding her hand, saying nothing, that holding her hand as she gasped for breath for all those final days seemed a natural extension of that. And then... she left, and I am bereft.
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All that worry and concern for your Mom has quieted now.

You rest too.

Tomorrow you can donate any flowers that may be too much.

Condolences to your sis too.
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(((((cwillie)))) -again, very well done. Living with the difference now is not easy and it takes time to adjust. You have a lot to process. I am glad you are staying around AC and sharing your wisdom and experience. Look after yourself.
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I wanted a quick funeral and burial because I know from past experience that the days spent waiting are excruciating. Well, the service is over, everyone has gone home and my house is filled with flowers, leftover food and ... silence. Funny, even though mom didn't live with me for over a year the house seems so much quieter tonight.
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This is only his 2nd week with dialysis. The left arm is so swollen where the fistula is he cant clean up or shave so he doesnt want to go. If its going to be this big of a problem every other day i dont know if its worth it. And i dont know how long before the dialysis takes to make him feel better but hes not feeling good at all. They have been taking over a liter and a half of fluid each time he goes but it doesnt make him feel all that better. And why fight a fight that just isnt doing anything to make him feel like he use to. He spent all those years taking care of my mom and not himself i think its too late. Can it be too late for dialysis to work? I need to talk to the doctor at the clinic.
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Dcuman, I am so sorry for your loss. It happens often that a spouse will pass soon after the other. My mom was about 7-8 months after stepdad. She had dementia, probably did not understand that he was gone, but felt something wasn't right.
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Hugs, Dcurnan, I'm so sorry. Letting go is so hard, even when you know it's time. I felt that way when I lost my grandpa to kidney failure and CHF. I wanted them to do everything possible to keep him alive, but his body just gave out at the end. I wasn't ready for him to leave, but I know he was tired. Can you talk to your dad's docs and see if they feel like the dialysis is still helping him?
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I lost my dad 5 years ago, my mom about 2 years and my husband 4 months ago. Sometimes it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other. I’m going back to work 10/1. I hope that getting out and going to work will give me a bit more focus in my life. It’s all hard.
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Im so scared and im in a panic of sorts. I think its a little late. He was always so busy taking care of my mom that he didnt take care of himself and now that shes gone i think he wants to go too.
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Aw, Dcurnan, that's so tough, I'm sorry for your loss and the difficult time of seeing your father declining. (((((Hugs))))) to you and your dad.
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I lost my mom on september 6th. I still cant believe shes gone. Ive been trying my hardest to keep my father alive and its just not working. Hes given up. He wants to be with her. They were married 62 years on the 15th of september. I think its time for me to just accept it. I just dont know how. I wish i could, but i dont want to lose him too. Hes so tired and he looks so gray. I dont think the dialysis that im forcing him to go to is even working. Please help me to let go. I just dont want him to go too.
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One day at a time.
It will get easier, and you won't need to forget your loved one for the pain to lessen.
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2 and a half years now without Mother here beside me and I still feel so lost and broken hearted.I'm so grateful for the extra time I did have with her though.Just a half of an inch and I'd have lost her 9 and a half years before I did.I was so lucky.
Mom wasn't the "norm" at all and she was funny and fun to be around.Same as my Dad.I miss them both so much
Thanks to all of you who have been there for me,it's meant the world~
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NYC so sorry for your loss. I've had so many dreams of my Mom since she died three years ago. Some good, some bad, some I wake up crying from.

It does get better and then a memory will trigger something and it gets bad again but you will get through it. The silliest thing can make me cry. For instance, I was grocery shopping the other day and was looking at some green leaf lettuce which was one my Mom always asked me to pick up for her every week when I got her groceries. Ridiculous............standing crying over the lettuce aisle.

Good Luck with your grieving. Come here often, it does help.
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Thanks to our forum moderators, we get this thread back after it was "archived".
Just wanting to thank you, and acknowledge your good work!
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It's hard. My mom passed away exactly three weeks ago. I saw her decline rapidly. In my mind, I attempted to prepare myself for that day. That was a sad joke! It's still surreal. Last night I dreamt that we were on a subway (back in NYC) and I lost her in the crowd. In the dream, she was in a demented state, and that made it feel so real. I'm not sure at what point, I think it was the next day, but I finally found her wandering around the platform. Her hair was disheveled and she had on different clothes. But she was safe. I'm in tears just thinking about it. Prayers and condolences to all of you that have recently lost your loved one. God bless.
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Your'e right gladimhere,the deaths on here do seem to come in waves and in my case,alot of deaths of loved ones have come in 3's.
I hope the dear people on here that have lost their loved one's will continue to be with us.I don't know where I'd be now without the support Iv'e received on here since I lost Mother.It's kept me going and I know I'm not alone,that there are other's who lost their dear parent and they are moving forward and that has given me the hope that I will too.
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Lucky, the deaths seems to come in waves, don't they? When my mom passed last June it seems there were at least ten others within a couple of months. It seems we are in the midst of another wave. And mountainmoose just lost her mom a couple of weeks ago. There is another one of two that slip my mind now.
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We did love our parents So much and now two more wonderful children on here have lost their fine folks...GardenArtist and Windyridge.2 great caregivers.
God be with them ~
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Dear luckylu,

Sending you love and hugs, my friend. I know every mother would wish to have such a devoted and loving daughter as you. Sorry to hear about your back and broken ribs. And you are doing your best to during the holidays to honor your mom's memory. Thinking of you.

This was my second Christmas without my dad. It still feels very strange. I don't know if it will ever get easier. We loved our parents so much.
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Lu, thinking of you. This was my first Christmas without mom. I did some cooking that mom always did when she was younger. Brought back some pleasant memories of her.
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(((((Hugs))))) Lu. Tough holiday for you, and birthday. Thinking of you.
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Lu,
No one can replace your Mom at all, ever! And tomorrow is your birthday, when you lost her. Planned her funeral. That was only two years ago! Such a short time.....and you have been in so much pain!
If you want to talk about your Christmas breakfast, who came, what you served, you can tell us!
If you want to tell us about your Mom, tell us.

This is your life today, and it's still looking very painful for you every day.

Tell us, let us love and support you through your tears. It is never too late to cry it out, and make a plan for next year too!
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Lu,
Have you ever seen the movie Shirley Valentine?

Celebrate your birthday with a manicure 💅🏼
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Thanks Golden...It would be great to do something different next year,IF the family would cooperate.
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Just (((((((hugs))))))) lu. Good idea to plan something different next year.
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