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I can relate so much to your situation because i recently lost my mom with alzheimers after almost four years of being here locally and moving here from colorado. Her declining condition was so difficult to watch and all i cared about was being with her every minute i could after working. These few weeks of grieving for her loss have left me empty, with a hole in my heart, with no identity and no purpose. But as a friend told me, we all need something to look forward to, like maybe a day trip or weekend trip , a purpose, like being with animals, photography, church, nature or something you believe in and something or someone to love. Time to fill up your heart with fun, music, spirituality, love, peace, acceptance, serenity, contentment for your next chapter if life. I am in the same place you are so keep us posted. Blessings to you, colorado proud, carol
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VOLUNTEER. You meet the BEST people because only the BEST people give of themselves. I fundraise for a Trap-Neuter-Return Cat Rescue, am trained as a Master Tree Stewart and teach a section on the importance of trees in the fourth grades in our county, I trained in CPR/AED/First Aid so that I can be that person when the Girl Scouts go camping, I sing so I am asked to lead the town G.S. troupes in caroling, and am active in a coalition to save our local Olmsted park from being turned into a sports complex/rock concert venue by the county. I found talented, generous people in every one of those organizations. I am so busy, I still don't have time for one-on-one with friends, but I barely miss it.
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After my dad died 1.5 years ago, I felt lost, yet found. I knew I was "free", yet felt trapped, not knowing what to do with my life. I felt relief, and guilt. I pondered going to school, getting a job, taking up a hobby, volunteer...I chose nothing instead. I focused on family around me that I had neglected in caring for my dad. Over time, I began to venture out of my comfort zone, and started living life again, even went on vacations. Now, with my MIL recently diagnosed with dementia, and needing care I'm willing to go another round, yet life will be different this time. I know better what to expect, as well as better ways to handle it. At the same time, I'm going to set better boundaries for myself this time...I don't want to " lose myself" again in the process. Some of us are caregivers from birth, however that doesn't mean we are to care at our total expense. Give yourself time, as much as you need, and if you find yourself in an emotional rut, don't hesitate to seek counsel, or even a caregivers support group. What you did for your loved ones is beautiful, what you will become will be priceless.
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Little75, you are grieving not only the loss of your family but the loss of what you considered your sense of purpose. Time will help.

Counseling may be a good way to help you transition to another life, so to speak. Many of us have spent so many years as caregivers that it becomes our identity. I have. It sounds like you have. There's no weakness in seeking the help of someone who can listen long term and perhaps guide you as you find new meaning in your life.

Please keep us updated on how you are doing. You'll help others as well as yourself.
Take care,
Carol
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One other thought or two...give yourself some time to adjust to a new chapter in your life...what you did in taking care of your loved ones was incredible...you must be a very caring and loving person to have done so...again take care and if you feel overwhelmed just remember to you can forward at your own pace.
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Ask yourself what are your interests...perhaps something you are interested in could provide a volunteer opportunity..every community has varied needs for volunteers, everything from museum guides to animal rescue to helping at food banks, etc. It is a nice way to meet new people and just get out and about. Do you have any interest in travel...perhaps a tour to someplace you always wanted to see...even if you have don't have a travel companion, there are tours that would be good for single traveler...maybe even part-time work would give you new contacts....also check if there are support groups in your area for anything that might be of help in finding someone to talk to and even think if you might want to try to reconnect with any friends or family you lost touch with over the years. Take care and all the best.
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