Legally blind, my mother, who's heard my voice for 54 years, can't recognize me by my voice.

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It hurt when she overheard me talking with relatives for a few minutes and asked me smiling and friendly, "And you are?" The relatives attributed it to the vision impairment. I would be able to recognize my close family members voices by phone without them identifying themselves. Who is in denial? Any reality checks for me out there, please. The families denial is frustrating. I wish there was compassion when I expressed my dismay with them privately. It's hard to have my mother ask who I am. My sister her POA will not answer my voice mail when I asked if my mother has been diagnosed with A or D.

7 Comments

I think there is some "show timing" going on.
Willowrose, I can see why you would feel so hurt. It must seem that your mother has forgotten you, or never loved you enough to be bothered to learn your voice.

As a kind of old person, even without dementia, my abilities are getting worse. Sometimes I don't recognize people by sight, never mind by voice.

It sounds like your family is difficult, but please try not to take this too much to heart. It could be due to dementia, but it could just be a "mistake" that your mother didn't know you by voice. Best wishes.
Hurt and confused and frustrated that no one is telling me no, it's not dementia, it's this or that; or yes it is. I guess it's my gut feeling that it is. She had a frontal lobe head injury at 20. I guess it can be par for the course. Tell me I'm not nuts, somebody.
What's driving you the most crazy? Is it that you fear she has dementia and that relatives are in denial, or that no one will tell you what's what? By itself, not recognizing your voice isn't a definite symptom.
willowrose, have you sat your mom down and asked her some questions? See if she remembers certain times and places and people from her past. I'd start probing around to see how deep this goes, then make a doctor appt for her to be seen and have him/her make a diagnosis whether it's dementia or not.
If someone sees someone they've known since birth, 54 years, (even gave birth to them!), and they don't recognize them isn't it pretty much the same as if someone hears someone, that they've been listening to for 54 years. You know? I reiterate, if their senses are not impaired. Yes, only testing would determine the root of the issue. We were seated in a very quiet spot too. It was like the world stopped for me. It's like a game that my sister won't tell me. Last week I asked my sister in a voice mail for "the truth, does our mother have a dementia diagnosis?" Our second aunt died from complications last week. I loved her a lot too.
My aunt couldn't recognize who people were in conversations even though we'd re-identify ourselves. My mom has been mean to me, throughout my life, I wonder if she is messing with my head. But, usually she would do it in private. Not in front of other people. My mother had a head injury at the age of 20. I think this is an after effect, years later, as I've read can be the case. She has always acted unusually and it has always made me sad and frustrated me. It's just sadder. I'm going to enjoy a cup of decaf tea, try to find a happy tv show and self soothe tonight. Thanks for caring.

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