Least favored child stuck with all caregiving.
I am having a lot of trouble adjusting to taking care of my aging parents. I was always the least favored, "black sheep" of the family. My brother was the "first born son" with all the attendant fuss. My sister is the baby, still, at age 56.
I left home at 17 to get away from my father's abuse. I put myself through college and had a brief career as a chemist until being forced onto disability. Since then,I have lived at the poverty level. Because I went on disability, I was able to hang onto my house which I had been renovating when I went on disability. I have lived with plywood floors and makeshift wiring for 15 years.
As of a little more than a year ago, I've been taking care of my mom. She moved in with me (on top of me) last may. Suddenly the house wasn't good enough and a tiny amount of money might be available to help with repair and renovation.
Also as of May my dad and his "wife" (they aren't actually married) ran into problems with a distant relative of hers making a grab for their assets. I had to deal with that. Court fights. Family fights.
In the process my father declined mentally and now has dementia and has become quite abusive when told he can't drive. I've gotten a lawyer to agree to become my dad's guardian. Oh, and the money for home repair? Forget it.
I lost my job when I had to take on my mom's care. I also lost any shred of privacy or life that I had. My family has ignored me for forty years in favor of my brother and sister. They can't help due to major health problems so I'm stuck with the job. I don't have even a bed to sleep in. I'm sleeping in an arm chair with a foot stool. I've about had it. I'm thinking of taking off to a motel to think for a couple of days. At least I could sleep in a bed for a night or two.
I've only done what I have so far because I have to live with myself. I'm about at the point that I think I can live with myself if I walk away. My problem is that I want to keep my house. Living at the poverty level I won't be able to get another and my income is probably not enough to get decent housing.
How can I extract myself from this mess?