Large family, no one around.


family. I care take an 85 year old, never married, aunt. She has always been independent. Currently I live with her but she had a stroke. Since the stroke her behavior has gotten worse not better. Nasty, bitter comments and actions, acting like a child when her part time aid tries to make a sandwich for her, always commenting about money. Her brothers and sisters are absent, because, " she is too difficult, to nasty…" and I could really use their help with explaining to her that SHE needs help. I am burning out, like so many. Not sure what to do, talking to the family is just more frustrating and heartbreaking as they just run away. I understand that the years of her being nasty and curt with others is now coming back to haunt her, however, if I can find the compassion, why can't others?

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I forgot to mention this: her siblings are her Health proxy. They don't want to be involved in making decisions for her and I told them if they no longer wish to be a health proxy then I would do it, but I need this to happen. Thanks for the advice on DPOA. I will contact the county.

If she has always been nasty verbally to family...they have had their fill of her abuse...that is why they run. While this next sentence may be hurtful to you, please try to understand that we all have a threshold of what we can tolerate....your relatives have the right to choose not to caregive just like you have the right to choose to caregive. Having said that, you must think of yourself as the an only person to do this job. Hiring caregivers to come to the home to help relieve you and aide you. As far as the comments go about you have DPOA to make decisions for her? If not and she refuses to have one written, then contact the Area Agency on Aging for a social worker to come to the house to talk with your aunt about her options.