I knew it wouldn't take long to break my heart.
Mom's still singing in her sleep....ooooo, lalala, yodeling. Sometimes almost crying. The Lorazapam worked last night so I got a good night's sleep -- and so did she. Lightly snoring. It sounded good. This morning she's back at it.
The doctor and hospice nurse told me it was a symptom of anxiety. I'm not sure I buy that. If I thought mom was REALLY crying, though, it would break my heart. I don't think it's that.
But what I do think it is? A cry for help. Know how a baby cries when it's needs aren't being met? Well, I think vocalizing by someone who is dying may be their autonomous way of letting others know they're still alive...to help them if we can. Not something they consciously do, but something we're genetically programmed to do.
I knew it wouldn't take long to break my heart...
Please, dear Lord, take her. It's sooo hard.