July of this year, mom fell at home, she lives alone. I am her daughter and her caregiver. She didn't break any bones, I took her the doctor and everything checked out fine. Mom has COPD, A-Fib, mild CHF, limited mobility due to osteoarthritis in her knees and back amongst a few other issues. Since the fall I noticed that she started declining in her health and I was spending more and more time over her house caring for her until it got to the point where she was not eating or moving around much, sitting and sleeping most of the time. I finally talked her into going to the doctor on Aug. 14th, the labs showed mom's sodium level was dangerously low and was admitted immediately into the hospital. She was there for 4 days and was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for physical therapy. 3 weeks later mom and I met with the interdisciplinary team and were told mom has not made any improvement and they recommended 24 hour care. Mom has medicare and med i cal so she can stay at the facility if we so decide. We cannot afford in home care and In Home Services does not provide 24 hr. care nor can mom live with me since she has mobility issues and we don't have a bedroom downstairs.
Since mom has been at the facility I have learned that she is quite social and has met many new friends, she loves the staff and they love her. She has lived alone for 40 years. She has never driven a car and has depended on me to do her shopping, doctor appts. etc all these years. It has been very sad watching her decline and I feel so sorry for her, but, on the other hand, she is getting good care, 3 meals a day, and I don't have to worry about her being safe at home. She keeps telling me she wants to go home but I really want her to stay there. The decision is putting so much stress on me I don't know what to do. How do I tell her? Should I tell her, or just let her think she needs to continue to work on getting better, knowing she will never go back home. The facility told me they would sit down with her and I and they would tell her that it is not safe for her to go home, and have it come from them. I feel so bad when I go to visit her and leave her there to go home. I know I am not the only one that has gone through or going through the same situation. I will welcome any advise, thank you.