Just the beginning.
I'm new to this caring for my 73 year old father. Honestly not by choice, as I have chronic neurological head pain disorders, 4 children and we homeschool. At least ok m happily married and my husbands awesome. It's a long story, aren't they all LOL, but I took him in after my oldest alcoholic sister got my father who WAS a recovering alcoholic then relapsed in her career all the time...she just kicked him out , in the rain. Really! He has severe degenerative eyesight from lifetime of drinking. Beginning of dementia , or Alzheimer s, I don't know.
He's just not right. Has never been there for my 4 older sisters and I, now I'm taking care of him. He's living with us now, but I don't know if I should try and and get him his own place. Or if he can even handle it or afford it. He will end up drinking himself to death and gambling all his $. He's an old race horseman and wants to live next to the race track. It's 20 miles from me and it would be betterif he could get an apt close to me where I would be willing to pop in a few times a day , bring him over for dinner etc. I'm just overwhelmed and venting. To top it off, I've got a 4 no old baby latched on me all the time, my oldest and I have the flu, dad just had surgery to take cysts off his back which will be sent out for biopsy. Oh and my dog had seizures this morning. Ha! Oh boy God sure thinks I can handle a lot I guess!😨 I'm just confused. Don't know where to begin getting all the needed power over him etc. I know he's best with my familyand I compared to other sisters, that's for sure. We are stable, loving and not alcoholics or anything like that . I guess one day at a time? Blessings to you all and strength is needed for this journey, I'm sorry so long.
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Was he ever in the military? If so, check out possible VA benefits. If not, see if you can get him his own place in a structured environment, not living on his own where he can drink himself to death near a racetrack.
He definitely sounds like too much to handle by yourself, with all of the family needs you have. So call in some reinforcements through community agencies. Start with your local Area Agency on Aging to find out what services are available. I'm sure you'll get other good advice here. Please vent away and keep us posted.
Your sister and he must have had a real blow up. It's hard to imagine anyone turning their parent out, although many of us have probably felt that way. I am glad you were there for him. You seem to have his best interest at heart. Since you have children, though, it would probably be better if he lived near you, instead of with you. Much luck!