It just gets more and more awful.
Mom is home from a week in the hospital fighting a UTI that went septic, plus a bad bedsore. A nurse visits daily to treat the sore, and she must be turned on her side every two hours, like a rotisserie chicken, as my daughter says. She has her marbles and her sense of humor, though her short-term memory is bad after a stroke left her with no use of her dominant side a year ago.
She has 24/7 care, so that's good, but, boy is this depressing. She has no life at all currently. She can barely move or sit in her wheelchair what with the bedsore regulations. I love her deeply and can't bear the idea of losing her, but this is crazy. If this bedsore is cured, then what? How do we prevent another one and another UTI that could become septic? Best-case scenario, she returns to her state of a few months ago, where she was able to sit in her wheelchair for a few hours, go out to dinner, and have a drink and a meal.
On top of it, she has gone from fiercely independent and edgy/difficult to completely dependent, sweet, compliant, and very needy of my attention. I'm her only child and we have always been extremely close, but she was a drunken mess during my childhood, not there for me at all. And now I am there for her constantly, handling her bills, lawyer, insurance, home care, plus visiting and talking to her on the phone all the time.
I don't want sympathy or to be reminded how hard this is and how sorry everyone is (nasty as that may sound, it makes me feel worse). I want advice on how to reconcile my current devotion with her past neglect, plus how to deal with the ongoing health issues that will likely keep repeating themselves.