Jekyll and Hyde...

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I think my Mom has become Jekyll and Hyde. One day she is sweet, loving, etc. and the next, mean, demanding, etc. One of her caregivers called me Saturday to say that Mom said "My husband took better care of me than all of you combined" and that I had no right to spend time with my family and I needed to be with her when I wasn't at work. Caregiver said that Mom wanted something every 10 minutes (moved from chair to bed, turn TV, etc) and I told caregiver to tell her NO and to set a time when she lays her down for a nap or to rest when she is tremoring and not to let her up before that time is up!

There are days when I feel like the "push me pull you" animal. I am trying to keep my mother out of a nursing home, but also realize that while I have only been doing this for 14 months, and most of you have been doing it MUCH longer, I know my limitations. If Mom is still alive and stable (meaning she doesn't become bed bound or loses her mind) I know I cannot continue to stay with her in another 2 years. I am trying to take it one day at a time but also be wary of the future.


Would it be possible to get her MD to prescribe an antidepressant? We did move Mom to an ALF in March 2013, but she is now in a NH, since she is bedridden. My heart goes out to you for taking on the challenge of her care. It just does not get better without happy pills.
I so understand where you are coming from. I have the same/similar situation with my 92 year old father. You are right to set boundaries. Pamstegma is probably right but I haven't looked into depression pills yet. I wouldn't know how to get my Dad to go to the doctor to get them or even if he did, how I would get him to take them.
Mom is on happy pills now...Paxil in the morning and Ativan during the day as needed. I was on medication years ago and it zoned me out so much I didn't care about anything. I just need to find a way to put myself first...which I have never been good at.
Obviously the pills are not I would ask the MD to do some tests to rule out Alzheimer's and put a more definitive diagnosis on what is causing her upsets.
Believe it or not, with Parkinson's, Benadryl (diphenhydramine) works rather well and better than some Rx meds. Google it.
I see that your mom has Parkinson's. That can certainly include some behavioral and cognitive issues. Explain what is going on to the doctor who treats the Parkinson's.

Your goal is to keep her home. You may need to reconsider that if medical intervention is not helpful.
Pam, Mom said Benadryl makes her hyper so I haven't tried it yet. She does react differently to some meds. We only see her neurologist once a year and he is very difficult to get in touch with. Two years ago she started hallucinating and in doing some research, my sister found that one of her medications, even though she had been on it for YEARS, could cause the problem. Once Daddy took her off of that, she stopped the hallucinations. We took her to the ER to rule out anything else medically wrong and other than her CT scan showing signs of brain loss (cannot think of the word they used). Daddy left a message for her neurologist and it took him 3 weeks to call back. Of course, I would have called every day until I got an answer but Daddy was of the belief that the doctor would call when he could.

I found a doctor closer (her neurologist is about 4 hours away) but Daddy was so impressed with this one he didn't want to switch and Mom doesn't either. I have a message in to her doctor to see if we can make an appointment to come back or I will take her to her primary physician closer to us, who knows our whole family very well, to see what he suggests if this continues. Her family doctor did tell my sister and I not to let taking care of her make us sick.

Thanks everyone.
If Benadryl makes her hyper, that points more towards Alzheimer's than Parkinson's. Maybe you should see that closer MD and get some answers directly instead of through Dad.
Pam, I didn't know that! Daddy passed away last year so it is all on me and my sister. She definitely has Parkinson's though...was diagnosed with is 22 years ago. She is "stable" for the most part in regards to her Parkinson's. She broke her femur about 10 years ago and hasn't walked since then.
A lot can happen in 22 years. Maybe even Alzheimer's. Get answers.

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