It's Over.

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My mother, or Mommie dearest as I referred to her (ever see that movie?) passed away last week. I'm the only family and she had no friends. In accordance with her will, cremation has taken place and I will scatter her ashes. The funeral home will keep her ashes for now..too creepy to have in my house, sorry.

Digging out from under the mountain of stuff that came back from the NH and dealing with a ton of paperwork, house under renovation and veggie gardens/greenhouse exploding ... I'm exhausted.

How do I feel? Nothing at all. She was close to 90 and spent her life demanding, using, manipulating and abusing anyone who dared cross her path. As an A+1 narcissist she could put on a show for outsiders but me and my father took the brunt of her abuse. Frankly I'm so grateful she's gone. A supreme narcissist, she knocked me about and put me in a hospital when I was 6 - it never got any better after that and I spent a lifetime avoiding her until she manipulated me into selling my home, quitting my career and moving to live in her cold dark basement to care for her for 4 years. All I had left was my old dog and when he died ... he was all I had left ... I contemplated suicide as the only way to get away from her..

Even in the nursing home the past 3 years she was after me every day - set the government on me accusing me of stealing her money, screaming down the phone every day until I blacked out doing 85 in my truck and had a nervous breakdown - changed my phone number and made it unlisted.

All I can tell you is that I'm so damned grateful she's dead. My father suffered over 50 years of her torture until his heart gave out 16 years ago. After a lifetime of pure hell from that woman, in my mid 60's I can now have a life.

For those of you who post how awful things are when the oldsters get looney tunes, violent, bed ridden, incontinent or whatever get them into a nursing homer asap where they will have professional care 24/7 for your sake as well as theirs.

21 Comments

Ashlynne, From your postings, I think I can hear a huge sigh of relief. That was quite a journey you were on with your Mother.
Ashlynne I am happy that you can now move on and live the life you deserve, free from the torture your mom put you through. I hope you continue to check in with us as you start to get your life back, so we can cheer you on. I'm rooting for you from Chicago. Please keep us posted!!
Lynne, deep sigh, freedom at last. sending you , the pups and the Mouse Squad lots of hugs....
You've got some work ahead but it's going to get better. Good luck to you
Hugs, Ashlynne. I'm so sad it was like that, but relieved for you that you're free. Hugs again.
It's good to know that you are now free to find peace in your life. Take care.
What an ordeal you must have gone through, and how much of a relief it must be to have it over. I've never experienced anything as intense as you've described but it seems like it must have been a living hell.

I'm glad for you that the horrible experience is over, and glad you still have a positive perspective and have moved forward with your large area of property and garden.
Certainly hear the relief in your post. Now you finally have a chance to change your life and move forward. Here's to your new opportunity and upcoming adventures! Go forth and have a wonderful time.
Ashlynne, nothing to say but big hugs to you. You had a hard life with your mother and you've done a good job. I hope that you are able to find peace and contentment now that you can breathe clean air free of worry. ((((Ashlynne))))

And thank you for the support and understanding you have always had for others with difficult parents.
Ashley,
Just want you to know that I’m so happy for you that you are finally free. I gained so much from your posts over the years. I hope all the paperwork of sorting out her affairs is soon in your rear view mirror, so you can go forward and have a beautiful, wonderful life. It would also be wonderful if you care to stay in touch here as you move forward, but most importantly, it’s time for YOU. Hugs.

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