I'm in my twenties and taking care of my grandparents.
I'm happy to take on the responsibility, but I get no respect or any time to myself. I'm going to start this off by saying that I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm just whining, and if that's the case then please just tell me so I can put my big boy britches on and get over it. I got a call a few months ago from my grandpa, practically begging me to come and take care of himself and my grandma who is going through chemotherapy.
As a little bit of backstory, I'm a twenty-four year old army veteran, I got back from Afghanistan for the third time about two years ago and exited the military a year ago. I was finally managing to get my life put back together and start school when he called, and apparently nobody else on this side of the family was taking it on. I knew before I came out that my Grandpa was difficult to deal with during the best of times, but I figured that if he was calling me then they needed me and that it was my responsibility.
As I got out here, I made my intentions to get a job clear and everybody agreed that it was the correct choice. Regardless I went to work helping them with their medications, making sure that they made it to their doctors appointments, and helping my grandpa with his never ending home improvement projects. It went well enough for the first few weeks, but slowly my grandpa started demanding more and more of my time in the yard, and complained whenever I wasn't out there, even if it was to take care of grandma.
It only got worse when I did get a job, one that I actually like even if it is only part time. He's never satisfied with the time I spend with him, he insists on controlling my sleep schedule, which is slightly different since I work evenings, I don't get any time on my own, either in the house or out in the town, and whenever I'm at work he acts like it's the most irresponsible and terrible thing ever. Whenever I -am- helping him he can't seem to hold back from telling me that I'm not good enough and apparently never will be because we have different life experiences.
It's recently come to a head, he showed up at work earlier this week and got somebody to call me out front so that he could scream at me about something my sister said, which I still haven't figured out what it was about, and he's insisting now that I basically give up my entire paycheck to him in order to pay the house payment, auto, and health insurance for them even though I, at best, make five hundred a month and need to work on paying student loans, seeing as how I 'never help him in the yard and sleep too much.'
I realize that I haven't said much about my grandmother, but it's mostly because she's been the opposite of him, aside from a few occasional problems. I've had to fight to get her to take her medicine a couple of times, but that was when she was having issues with her oxygen levels. Overall, I'm still dedicated to taking care of both of them, but I'm somewhat at the end of my rope as to how much more I can stand being my grandpa's verbal punching bag.
So, what I want to know is what I need to do in this situation? I've tried to just talk to him about it, but it doesn't seem to do any good. If I had anybody to vent to then this wouldn't be as much of an issue, probably, but seeing as how I've only been in the state for about two and a half months and haven't had any chance to meet new people outside of work that's not really an option.