I'm so beaten down I can't stand to look at him sometimes.
I love my father (dementia dad) dearly, more than I can express.... BUT 24/7 with no break for years I am tired of seeing the vacant stare he gives me all of the time. I feel so guilty for it but then I see it again and I get mad all over again. My dad was a firecracker, never without a comeback always on and quick witted. I do not know this person who has inhabited his body. I care for him the same but I don't know him anymore. I hate what dementia has done to him. And me. Its a horrible thief who robs us of our favorite people and leaves devastation instead. That's all... just venting.