I'm so beaten down I can't stand to look at him sometimes.

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I love my father (dementia dad) dearly, more than I can express.... BUT 24/7 with no break for years I am tired of seeing the vacant stare he gives me all of the time. I feel so guilty for it but then I see it again and I get mad all over again. My dad was a firecracker, never without a comeback always on and quick witted. I do not know this person who has inhabited his body. I care for him the same but I don't know him anymore. I hate what dementia has done to him. And me. Its a horrible thief who robs us of our favorite people and leaves devastation instead. That's all... just venting.


Hang in there, Ypiffani....I wish I could offer more than that, but know that you're in good company here. {{hugs}}
I understand... My Dad was quick witted and huggy guy also.. After he passed I thought that all I was going to remember was his dying and sickness but I don't... Everyday I look at a picture I have of him before he was sick and he's smiling.. That's the Dad I so effectionly admire and was blessed to have him in my life..
I understand too. Dementia can be creepy at times. I don't know how else to describe it. It seems as though my MIL eats............glares............poops.
The glaring is quite unnerving and it feels uncomfortable even though I try to be very upbeat with her and kind.
I hate being stared at :(
just curious, have you done any research about putting him in a home? it doesn't sound healthy for you to be exposed to this, and if it makes no difference to him...
we are working on that now, through the VA and hopefully it will happen soon.

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