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I said I wouldn't vent again.. Im trying not to... BUT I just don't know...

Grandpa is being stubborn still on not hiring any one else every time he walks I'm scared he will fall. He needs more companionship just to keep an eye that he basically doesn't get up unless he has help or the "in case moment" Yes, he has life alert wont use it. Hes constantly saying its to late for me to go to school to get a career ( Ill be working wherever meanwhile). Yes, I have a 4yr degree but in nothing good. I want a masters/certificate so I can try to get a job one day where I want. He gets upset when I leave to long but yet he says be with family here and help out my friend and her family because they always help us! So I bet I get in trouble that I left him alone to look for a job and work. Idk how did I end up in this predicament!!! How I was chosen to be there all the time I dont know ( of course there's no other family here or willing to come down ) I love him and if I could would be there 24/7 if I had no other obligations. Why is it all on me?

My sons behavior has flared up again ( he was extreme ...semi calmed down mainly mouth always trouble sleep and ADHD) he refuses his meds that help his ADHD/Sleep Issues/Anger..and yes, his Dr said I can mix one of them in food or drinks but my son figures it out and refuses it.. complaining it taste nasty and makes him sick. So mix his what seems to be bipolar( sometimes a different child amazingly sweet) violent/mouth/ attitude with my taking care of my grandfather/ now father. :/

An adult family member is acting like my son, and now my dad and I are fighting because of something to do with my daughter ( Im not gonna say) and my dad keeps saying he doesn't care if he dies in his sleep constantly... ( doesn't want help to help him live the 6-12 months he has left because of all the family issues we have). So my kids issues are making my father and grandfather more upset as they are ill and cant deal with them anymore either.

Plus... Im a stress eater and have yet to lose my weight I need off! Uggh!!! I am ready just to find a job out of town and take my kids and that's that! Id still have my kids issues but I wont have everything in the mix. But yet, I love my dad and grandpa and would feel guilty leaving them, but its not doing anyone any good! Of course, being broke doesn't help matters. Yes, I have health issues and haven't been to the Dr in years.. bad mix I know :(

I know you all said, my kids and me first.. but I cant just leave with them having no care and me no money or job! Then comes the guilt factor! Oh and will I be in trouble for neglect or abandonment of my grandfather/father? They are of sound mind still according to their Drs as of last visits.

What do I do? What would you do?

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captain, to be honest I didnt believe in it either! I do believe it now or something close to ADHD does exist because there are multiple mental/brain disorders. Now, there's more testing like Sleep tests and MRI's etc that shows the differences in the brain. I do believe that not all kids who are diagnosed with AD/HD has it! I believe I read somewhere there are close to 50 different issues that can mimic ADHD and im continuing testing for my son. Yes, my kids have been spoiled so it does not help the issues. BUT, we have had one relative with Schizophrenia, and Im sure other different issues in the family tree. But, you got part of the issue right, control with a side of spoiled.

shakingdustoff, thanks for support. I hear ya about writing mistakes but I see your posts and see nothing wrong! I do shorten words ( bad I know) like instead of though.. I put tho. Reading about your friend, Im glad you understand what its like, what hes going through. Some dont have a problem and some do, its hard to tell sometimes, but your friend sounds as if he loves various things but cant "concentrate" to stay at them. My son is very smart too! Its focus...skills still have to be learned besides the meds. A life time of struggles. Those meds are harsh, your friend knows that, but my son is benefiting from them, I think dosage will be going up and it scares me but.. hes got to have the right dose. I am leary, of course, but I know that my son is wired different, hes not like other boys his age at all, all the violence, sweet and angry ( like a light switch on and off), lack of concentration, says he stupid, cant sit still in class, even movies,games, etc he likes ( its hard for any kids to sit still and they may wiggle but my son literally cant)

I hope your friend continues to improve :) Im glad your there for him!
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you know ill take one word and spin out with it .
" ADHD " . i dont buy into it , never did . i think its a kid clamoring for control ..
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OMG!!! Im so sorry, I just read this post and my old one, I did not mean to repeat myself! Thats what happened here, same thing just a different day and I realize this now! Ok, time for actions! Job, kids and me, then others. I am obviously going in circles going in circles. Chances will have to be taken and fear put aside. Im so sorry again about the repetitive post. It like groundhog the movie... Yikes, I annoy myself sometimes! Just ignore this post! ( Countrymouse if you read this, thank you for your answer on the old one)

Time for me to stay off here a while and get things in order. Ill give you all some NEW updates or questions when I come back! Take care everyone .. Ill be back soon. Hugs to all in advance.
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Yes, and because they are of sound mind, they refuse the service! But another talk wont hurt right? Thank you as well :)
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Ok, maybe your right about the neglect part.. my friend said I could probably still be held reliable even though they are of sound mind. As far as money, grandpa and dad pay my way and own the house. I dont want that and havent wanted that. I looked for a job before and kept getting rejected. I believe my age/weight and lack of skills. But, even so, now I know I can find a job hopefully quickly if I have the time to look for one. The reason being, is Im willing to branch out even further and look at places I never even thought of before! Besides, even odd jobs if I had the time would help! Yes, I get child support but not much and, government help as well.

Well, I dont have a car so its city transportation which is fine and as for a sitter, I never had one so my issue would be to afford one at min wage but many people figure it out right? My oldest can be alone during the day but my youngest has to have care. As it is my father cant handle my son anymore anyways.

Yes, me not having a job is making things worse for me. Am I forgetting anything else? Im not sure what else to add. Im sorry, when Im upset I don't make sense. Thank you :)
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Yes, your children come first and you a close second! Did you explain to their doctors the situation at home and ask for assistance? If not, call and get the names of in home service companies and let them come to an evaluation.

It is tough having to make those adult decisions for our elders but even at their refusal, you have to do what is best for them and you. They may be a little unhappy at first with your decision but seems like Dad and Grandpa have run your life long enough. Once they realize you are not turning back into caregiver they will adjust. Your children's future is at stake! Good luck.
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