I'm caring for my husband, it's been 3 months.

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I'm having a very hard time and don't know how to handle anything. I find myself feeling glad he's home but so tired.
I still work and have a caregiver for him from 10 to 6 Tuesday - Saturday the rest of the time it's all up to me. I'm up with my husband 3or 4 times a night. He has night sweats that are really bad. I change him and his bed so he's not sleeping in a wet bed. At the same time he has to use the urinal. One of the biggest problems is when he doesn't have to go once I'm up and have the urinal in place at 2am and he doesn't have to go after all or he goes just a little because he went 1 hour ago.
Tonight I told him that I'm not getting up for the 3 ed time and it's 2 am. I ended up getting up 20 minutes later and had to change his diaper and bed. I'm exhausted and feel guilty for the feelings I have.
I feel like I lost my husband


I can understand as I took care of my husband just for a few weeks and it was the hardest thing to do even with help coming in. He went into rehab for 3 weeks which really didn't help him but it gave me a rest (I was also recovering from knee replacement) ..but when he came home he didn't last long and succumb to prostate cancer But he was really having a lot of pain and that was also hard to deal with at home. I wish you the best with your husband's care
Hugs to you, Larrianne. Caring for a spouse is challenging on every level.

What is your husband's impairment? What can he do for himself and what does he need help with?
I appreciate Larrianne that you help your spouse by waking up in the night and help him during these problematic circumstances. Really salute to you for such caring to your husband.
AngelicaBall, why don't you share some tips about how to help a dementia patient who can't sleep through the night?
Jeannegibbs! That's why i told her just contact on the above number and get tips how to rid out from this type of issue. Because the experienced assistance would know how to treat this type of problem whether she should go to some doctor for her husband treatment or what's the better way to get rid out from this. Hope she'll find some help from them.
AngelicaBall, phone numbers and .com urls are not allowed on this forum. An administrator will remove them, probably in a few hours. That is why I suggest if you have something to contribute to the topic that you do it directly.

In this post, the husband has very bad night sweats. What is your suggestion about dealing with that?
Ohhk ...thanks for your suggestion Jeannegibbs!
Jeannegibbs asked what my husbands problem was. My husband fell December 1st and broke his hip it was a fracture that he couldn't have surgery for. He was in rehab for 1 month during this time he got a stage 4 bedsore. I was told many times that it was getting better but it was not. I visited him every day and didn't know how bad the sore was getting. I received a call at 1am early January telling me my husband was rushed to the hospital. His blood pressure had dropped and he was very sick. He had many problems that he didn't have before entering rehab and now he was in ICU with a ventilator, feeding tub and dialysis. He was in the hospital for 22 days. I brought my husband home no more rehab they almost killed him. He can't stand up he's to weak and has a vac-tube to drain his bed sore. It's very hard to see him this way
Oh, how very hard for you both, Larrianne! What a challenging situation!

Have you talked to a lawyer about any options you may have about the dreadful state of your husband's bedsore in rehab? I understand that can happen any where but for it to go on so long and become so severe sounds like neglect. I am not usually one to cry Sue! Sue! but it sounds like you really need overnight help and if there is a way for the Rehab's liability insurance to cover that it should be explored.

I'm not going to suggest a care center for your poor husband. After your experiences I can't imagine you are thinking kindly about care centers.

Have you discussed his sleeping issues with his doctors? If there is anything that could reduce the night sweats, that would help, wouldn't it?

My mother's broken hip could not be repaired, either. She was 93. She went on hospice care, but recovered rather remarkably. That was two years ago. She is now confined to a wheelchair, but attends all her nursing home's activities. She also has dementia. She has been on a drug to help her sleep, but they are gradually reducing the dose since she seems to do OK without it now. It is hard to see her this way, but we are grateful that she seems content and enjoys her days.

You really cannot provide 3 8-hour shifts of care for your husband all alone. And it really sounds like you need help over the night shift.
Our children want me to see a lawyer and are making an appointment for me for next week. I really don't want to go through the trama of a lawsuit I don't have the energy for it. I find myself in a
Situation that will force me to do something. My husband had to retire early 10 years ago due to cancer. His retirement pay is less than it should be because of early retirement. We are paying the care giver my husbands monthly retirement pay. I have a small business and don't bring home much money so in a few more months we are in big trouble.
I find that I'm almost beyond depressed.
Our Doctor is having many test done in trying to find a cause for the sweating problem. He has ruled out As of yesterday he has changed one of the meds that might be the problem. A bone infection was just ruled out.

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