I'm beyond burnout. I just can't take care of two 'patients' anymore.
I think I need to detach from my narcissistic mother. I've taken a bunch of burnout quizzes -- I'm toast. My narcissistic mother thinks there's nothing wrong with her, and I'm just done trying to 'fix' everything she does. My brother lives out of state and is trying to help, but Mom complains about everything -- especially having home care, even though DCF became involved because of self-neglect. Meanwhile my husband who has bronchiectasis, a feeding tube, and now is having seizures as a result of long-term side effects of radiation and chemo, is also suffering from exhaustion. He feels like he has wasted what was left of his 'golden years' and says he is 'done' worrying about my mother, who is financially comfortable and can afford to be in a memory care/nursing facility. She constantly criticizes my efforts to help, and calls from 6 to 12 times a day with complaints and questions. Her short-term memory is zero, but she can't/won't admit she needs help.
My husband can see that my trying to 'do the right thing' by Mom and care for him too, is overwhelming me, and my health is declining. My doctor has told me I have to 'put on the brakes', or I'm headed for more problems than fibro/arthritis.
My brother would like Mom to be able to stay in her home; but I just can't go to her home (45 min away) every time there is a problem anymore. I am willing for my brother to do anything, including guardianship of Mom at this point.
What I really think I need to do is detach and concentrate on my own health and taking care of my husbands needs. It's 4:45 am, and I can't sleep, again.