My Dad is 93 and ill. He will not get outside help.

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My Dad was recently in the hospital for two weeks and declined dramatically. He can barely walk with a walker and cannot drive. I flew to Florida to care for him, but had to leave after two weeks. I live in Ohio. My Dad has cancelled all of his doctor's appointments and kicked the visiting nurse out of the house. He lives alone in a condo with no friends or family nearby (my brother lives 9 hours away). I stocked him up with food before I left, but begged him to call a home health service (I gave him the brochure) so at least he would have someone come in a few hours per week, do shopping, run him to the doctor, etc. He has refused. He is very stubborn and can be quite nasty. Many health professionals have refused to treat him. But he is my Dad and I love him dearly. I was planning on going down to FL to check up on him in August, but I fear he will not last that long if he keeps this up. In fact, he might run out of groceries by the end of this week and I have no clue what he plans on doing. My therapist thinks maybe he is chosing to die this way. I will not resort to legal action; he would never forgive me. I am thinking of going down again in a few days but I cannot keep going back and forth. I am going down in August regardless. Please help.

3 Comments

I would definitely go down there to see how he is doing. If you are not willing to resort to legal action, there is nothing you can do. I know this is hard. Is there a social worker involved? How can health professionals refuse to treat him? On what grounds? Do you have POA? If you set him up with an agency to come in a few times a week, make sure you are the contact person, that he cannot fire them. Stand your ground with him. I am sure he has some form of dementia going on. This is not easy but you must be firm with him. Explain to him that you are very worried about him and that by having someone come over a few times a week would ease your worry. You have to do all that you can because when he dies you seem like the type of person that will feel guilty the rest of your life because you didn't do more. Good luck....
You could have a meal service deliver to him. You could also have a grocery delivery service make weekly delivery.
Have you considered hiring the home care yourself? Sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and make the move.
Good luck!
If u trying to help him and he don't give a damn about the services that u try to provide him then i think that u have a suitable option and that would be an assisted living...
I have seen many people living http://fairwayssupportedliving.com.au/everyday-support there and yeah they also u know irritate their family members and they have sent them to the assisted living facility.... U don't have to worry about your father all kinds of facilities are provided there and the patient also don't feel that he is far away from home/...........

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