I've been so tired of caregiving, that I've forgotten the pain my mother has endured.

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I'm in the middle of writing out a history of my mom for her doctor to have, and I must plead je suis de'sole'...I am sorry... I've been so tired these past 10 years that I had forgotten the things she's endured for over 80. Now I remember - and will attempt to unwrap my hands from around her proverbial neck. I'm still tired and I'm still frustrated and I'm still overwhelmed...but she's still my mom. Ah me.


I take it back - I take it back -I take it back. My husband's brother died unexpectedly on Wednesday and, as usual, she showed no compassion, no acknowledgement. Today she called him and said "I guess I'm sorry your brother died. That's all" and -click -hung up on him. I can't take anymore.
Try to keep it in mind that the reason that you care for her is because YOU are the kind of person that does this. It really doesn't have anything to do with whether or not she is worthy of your care, it all has to do with the fact that you are worthy enough to give it. So, No guilt, she is what she is, and it doesn't matter, because you are who you are too, and you are good, kind, compassionate and beautiful.
Ted.. that is a brilliant observation.
Je suie de sole: I hear you. I understand your exhaustion. I do not know that I can help you, other than to say that "I understand". My sister and I have been caring for our mom in her home for the past 6 years with no help. We are exhausted and so totally dedicated that I cannot explain where it is coming from other than it must be because of the caring and love we received while we were children. I have felt totally alone and that no one understands or even cares to understand...that's why I wanted to respond to you; You are NOT alone and we here on this site certainly understand. I hope, along with you, that we will find some support, guidance and strength from others that share our burden. I truly believe mom would not want us to make this sacrifice but don't know what else to do. A past bad experience in a rehab facility has soured us to seeking out this avenue. Please, when you feel stressed and exhausted, put your arms around yourself, squeeze real hard...it's me, giving you a hug. God Bless You. I truly believe you, me and my sister will be rewarded one day.
I think worn out and exhausted is a main theme for all our lives now...Sort of the over arching personality trait....Tired...At a time when many are looking at either The Freedom of kids out of the house or retirement they are actually looking at years of caring for declining loved ones. Hope it isn't any more stressful and complicated than it has to be....

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