I Miss "Adult" Conversations.

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I remember a few years back, a co-worker of mine - turned stay at home mom - who had three children under the age of 5, stating that she missed having adult conversation. Strangely, I can relate.


"Talking" to my Dad was never a picnic. Even when I was younger and would try to talk to him or seek advice, the conversation would miraculously turn to him and normally a B**CH fest about what was wrong with his life, but at least he could FOLLOW a conversation.


I dread my phone calls / visits with him sometimes because it's like talking to a brick wall. Not only do I have to scream because he's hard of hearing and refuses help, but everything is just... off. He can't follow a conversation. He's irrational. He connects things that make no sense at all... and I'm just NOT cut out for the diplomacy that's needed to exhibit long-term patience with someone in that state of mind.


It's frustrating and depressing. I'll try to "go along" with whatever irrational BS he's spouting, but after a while it just gets exhausting. He didn't raise me to coddle or encourage less-than behavior (seriously... a dumb answer could land me a backhand), so it's hard for me to break 40 years of programming.


I dunno... This is so frustrating. I know I'm always complaining, but SHEESH!!!! Poor guy and poor me!!!! I guess I am my father's daughter. Grouchy pants today...

5 Comments

Tinyblu, I know how you feel, I don't have the patience either if someone is in a certain state of mind.

My boss can be rude and start arguments [thankfully not with me], I have even left the office when he was in one of his rants with someone else. Plus he's the only person I know who can pick a fight with Siri on his iphone :P
I became SO lonely for conversation when my mom became confused with alzheimers. I couldnt / cannot say anything to her because it opened a big can of confusion and crazy... so I ended up not talking at all and that made it worse for me.
I ended up talking to random people where we would sit and that would make mom mad--- it was a very hard time because I used to talk to her about anything..
I am so hungry for conversation. My mother has never been one you could talk to about anything deeper than what's for dinner. Now that she is hard of hearing and twists her face in a painful way when we talk, talking to her is not something I can do for a few minutes. Most of the talk is about the TV, things that happened with her sons, or her childhood. Of course, I've heard everything lots of times, so it does wear me out. And a lot of it is not quite true. But that is the way it is.

A few minutes ago I checked to see where the thunder was coming from. It was coming from the north. When I came back in, she told me she could tell it was coming from the south. I told her it was north of us and she told me I was wrong, because this time of day it comes from the south. Oh. Okay. It didn't matter.

Where is my helmet? I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve this, but it is what it is.
When young parents say "I miss adult conversation," they are often advised to seek out adults to converse with. To get some respite (babysitter) regularly and go out and do adult things.

Tinyblu, you don't have to arrange respite to go interact with adults. Unlike Jessie, your parent isn't living with you. I don't think it is so much that you miss adult conversations (as a parent of young children does), but that you miss intelligent conversation specifically with your father. That is one of many losses you have/will experience as he ages. And it is sad. And you have every justification to rant about it now and then. And to mourn it.

I'm sorry you are suffering this loss. (((hugs to you)))
I'm very much going through something similar with my dad. He's become very negative and almost like he's looking for an argument or something to be disagreeable about. So I've started limiting what I will talk to him about, now down to very few topics. I always listen to what he has to say, including the oft repeated stories. But I miss the dad I'd grown so close to after mom died, the dad that he and I could talk about most anything. Just another part of him changing that is hard to watch and accept.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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