I might be just as insane as her when this is all over.

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I'm new here so I'm sorry if this may sound a bit childish. I'm 15 years old and my mom wanted me to come here...guess it's for advice and venting. I don't want to come home, and maybe this is selfish but it is because she's my grandmother...but I'm really starting to dislike her just because of how much of a b*tch she's being. Different attitude every single day and if you offer help she wants an instant pity party. There is never enough attention for her. Never was, never will be and the dementia is just gunna make it worse. How do you calm down when you and the person you're dealing with both have different attitudes? I'm pessimistic, sometimes stubborn, and also I get easily pissed off. Basically, how do you deal with it? Writing isn't helping anymore. Thank you for reading...but I really needed to vent.

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When you want to know how "normal" you really are, come here, read how many people think and feel as you do. We all have similar feelings as we take this journey. It may seem like whinning but sometimes you need to take the bottle cap off or the bottle explodes :)
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Don't feel bad about whining, we all do it on here sometimes ;0) I love that this is a "safe" place to come whine, vent & complain with people who "get it" about what we are going through and dealing with. There is something to be said about getting together with folks who are struggling in the same boat as you, no matter the ages!
So keep sharing here and it will help!
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I can't say I take full responsibility for her because when I'm in school, my mom and brother...sometimes his girlfriend takes care of her. When I got home, everyone leaves and from 3.30 to midnight, I take care of her while my mom is at my Nunny's house and my brother and Taylor are out somewhere. Maybe I am too young, maybe not. A lot of people tell me that I don't act or seem like a 15 year old, but let's be honest: I forced myself to grow up. I dropped out of my band when she moved in because I can't let my mom fail nursing school because she has too much to deal with. Wow, I'm whining so bad right now, lol. Anyway, you're right. When she's out, maybe I caan start having a life again. Good luck to you guys too!
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You are far too young to take on the responsibilities of your grandmother. Sometimes it is better for everyone if a person with a personality disorder and dementia be placed in a facility. Now you can start living yoir life the way it should be.
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Update: The doctor told my mom that my grandmother might be out and into a nursing home by June. Is it bad that I'm somewhat happy about that? Thank you guys so much for all the advice and personal stories, I kinda feel like I'm not alone in this. Finals are coming fast so I might be off for a while, but thank you again.
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You do have a lot on your plate for a fifteen year old. It sounds like you do help your mom as much as you can, that you do get frustrated with grandma, and maybe you miss doing what fifteen year olds do with friends and through school. You clearly understand that grandma's dementia not only effects her but the whole family. I wish you didn't have this as a part of your life but you do and learning all you can about dementia will help you understand that probably a lot of the behaviors grandma is showing are due to the dementia. She can't control what her damaged brain can not longer do. I hope you can find a way to cope with all you have on your plate. In your position at your age what you are feeling is pretty normal. I wish you the best.
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DyingxBreed - I can feel your pain. I am caring for my MIL who has AD she was/is introvert and has always had depression issues as well as bizarre behaviours. Hides when eating, use to lock herself in rooms or closets when relatives came for holidays, she would take people things and hide them or throw them away, she would come right out and say if shes not happy, why should anyone else be allowed to be happy. She would get angry about people going out to dinner but would never go when invited and on and on. To me this is very much "I need everyones pitty or attention ALL of the time behaviour". She uses spite to try and make people feel guilty for living their lives. Sometimes I think that she had/has a form of Munchausen Syndrome. Regardless of what she had or has though, she now has AD on top of it and she is worse then ever. I try to be compassionate and empathetic but it is very, very hard. And mind you, I'm in my late 40s! Breathe deeply, take as much time as possible for yourself and your sanity and do fun, happy things, do not let her actions (or words) hurt you, sometimes when I'm caring for her, I like to act as if I am a nurse and she, a patient, so that I can unplug the feelings and just do the job. Sounds cold but you have to do what works. I see other people with this disease or other dementia type disorders and they are smiling and look happy. They may not know why but their behaviour is friendly and loving. I wish that this could be the case every care giver encountered but unfortunately, it is not. I wish you the best of luck with the care of your grandmother. But do remember that you do not have to stop living because she may be dying it is all a part of life.
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DyingxBreed, I'm glad that you feel better just reaching out to this community. You've already received good advice.

We do understand the stresses of coping with someone with dementia. At 15, you have a lot of responsibility. Your mom has so much to handle that she might not realize how this is stressing you but she certainly is trying since she sent you here.

The Alzheimer's Foundation of America has a teen site that you may find helpful since you'd be able to interact with other teenagers in this same situation. Go to their teen site at http://www.afateens.org/.

I hope you'll keep coming back here to vent and learn what you can. We're concerned about you. However, looking for help through your school counselor and places like the AFA will also be helpful.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Carol
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I'll tell you what helped me -- maybe not what you want to hear -- but volunteering at a nursing home helped me learn not only skills to deal with the problems of the elderly, physically, but I also learned a lot from the compassion and genial attitudes of the nurses and aides there, and the way they laugh and deflect any meanness that comes their way from dementia-minded patients. Maybe ask if you can just be there a week or two. It might help you deal better with the one in your home. Also, you are going to have a better life than teens who spend their teen years surrounded by self-reflecting peers and indulging in selfishness. This will deepen you. Do quit the smoking though, as circulation is really important in keeping a brain happy and functioning. Good on you!
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I think i know what i want to do with the rest of my life, yet you're right when you say im too young to deal with this bullsh*t, but im also used to it since i was taking care of her after school for the last 4 years, so i guess its safe to assume that im used to doing this.
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