I know this is part of grieving...

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I am really feeling like I don't want to be living in the city I live in. Everywhere I go here reminds me of my mother who passed on. I have no family left except my estranged sister who wants nothing to do with me. So I am really alone. I thought I wanted to move back to NY state where I spent some years growing up. But I don't want to go back to where I lived. I feel I have to go somewhere new. Start over. Start a new life. But I am so confused that I just don't know what to do. I know I can't stay here anymore as everywhere I go its a painful reminder of my mom. Yet my dad's family lived here, going back to the late 1800's. I was born here but raised in other states of the country. So I am so confused and feeling lost and totally alone even though I have friends. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.


I have read not to do anything major for a year, such as moving.

If I am correct, your Mom passed on within the past month or so, so all these feelings are brand new. Give it time. Go through all the stages associated with grief before you decide on anything.

Any close friends you can renew their friendship? I know we all lose our friends once caregiving becomes our around the clock job. If you currently don't work, look for a part-time job or do volunteer work. I have found volunteer work so very rewarding. And I have made new friends there.

(((((((hugs)))))) bloom. It is generally recommended that you don't make any big changes in the first year, at least, after a loss. Your grief will continue where ever you are. The reminders you have here may be different from the ones you would have anywhere else, but you will still have reminders, and that is normal, and I will go so far as to say that you need them to process your grief. Have you found a grief group in your area? You might find that one helps. Do you have a friend you could visit for a short while somewhere else just to get a break or are you ready to go on a trip - a vacation?

"confused and feeling lost and totally alone even though I have friends" Of course. That is part of grief. After I lost my youngest son I became somewhat of a hermit - others I know have done the same after a significant loss. Writing down your feelings here is good - one way of getting them out. There s no way out of grieving - just through it, one day at a time, as you are doing. In a year's time you may feel different. Blessings.
Yes, I feel like I am isolating myself. And when I am with other people, I feel like all eyes are on me, I feel awkward, out of place. I know this is part of the process, but I just can't seem to see past it. Thanks.
bloomschool, I wouldn't move or make any drastic changes just yet. Grief needs to take its time. My Hubs and I are planning a move and I feel sad thinking of leaving the area where my Mom and I spent so much time together. I thought something stupid the other day. I thought if I move my Mom's spirit won't be able to find me. Duh...........stupid, I know. It's been two years today since my mom died and I am still thinking like that so my advice to you is give yourself some time.
Dear Bloom,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I can relate my friend. I feel the same way, I want to quit my job, move to a new town and start over. The reminders have been very painful. Most people have said to me to wait at least one year if not two years before making a drastic change. I think it can also bring on more stress. 8 months since my dad passed and I still feel lost. Knowing what to do is the hardest thing. I guess I will keep focusing on living from moment to moment for now. I do try to keep myself occupied, but there are still tough days. Please be kind and gentle to yourself.

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