I feel so guilty
I think this site is going to be a lifesaver for me. My mother is 92. She's actually amazing. She has always been very independent since she divorced in her 50s. Five years ago, I lost my house to the housing crisis. I also lost my job. I moved in with mom. It's not the first time my mom has helped me. She has always been there for me and I've stayed with her before during life transitions, but never for this long. She clearly has gradual dementia. She's lucky though, because two of her brothers died of Alzheimers and it's definitely in her family. She has always been very fit and has taken good care of herself. I worked off and on for a couple of years after I moved in with her but I finally took my Social Security and I started a business 2 years ago. I'm 66 now, by the way. Mom is becoming more and more forgetful. She stopped driving over a year ago after having a pretty bad accident which she caused. Losing her ability to drive (her car was totaled) has been very hard on her. I take her everywhere. She wants to go with me whenever I go just about anywhere. I feel very guilty that I don't always want her to go with me. I don't get much alone time. She doesn't really need much personal care yet. I pay all of her bills online but she obsesses over the bills and junk mail she still gets in the mail. I'm thinking of changing the bills to paperless. I was glad to see in another thread about "creative caregiving" where you sometimes have to sort of trick them. She is hoarding things in her bedroom and it's beginning to get dangerously crowded in there. I want to get all of that cleaned out but she is resistant. Bottom line: She's a wonderful person and a wonderful mother and I feel stressed and impatient and I feel really guilty for feeling that way. Plus, it doesn't help that my family (my kids and my sister) aren't very understanding of my stress. I've found that I can't complain or rant to them about her at all. She is understandably very loved and admired by the family. It makes me feel very alone plus I feel like I'm losing my best friend and biggest advocate and gaining a young child to take care of. I'm not taking very good care of myself. I've never been good at caring for others and also caring for myself. Thank goodness I found this group! I can see that you all "get it" when it comes to these issues.