Just joined a few minutes ago. I feel so alone, sad, angry.

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I've been caring for my father for about the last 7 years. It's too much.

32 Comments

Kelley, we need more information. What are the medical issues with your father? Any memory issues? How old is your father? Why were you chosen to be his caregiver? Are you working outside of the home plus being a caregiver? Did you quit work to be your father's caregiver? Could your father qualify for Medicaid?
No, you are not alone and you may be burning out. I did the math from your profile and see that you've been taking care of him since you were 40 and he was 66?

We need more information as asked for above.
it is so nice to see someone answer
My father is 73 and I am 47. He has COPD and very limited mobility. I've been caring for him since the death of my mom 7 years ago next month.
I quit my job this November after he had a bad health scare. I didn't know what else to do. I have a wonderful husband of the past 4 years and thank God for him. My father has just us. His brother stops in maybe once a month (some help huh?) and my only sibling ( a brother) is incarcerated (past 8 years)
I just really need someone to talk to sometimes. This is becoming overwhelming to me and lately I see myself suffering mentally from all of this.
Do you work outside? Does dad qualify for Medicaid or does he have funds to pay for care?
No I don't work anymore but wish I did. I so miss being around people. Right now seeing an attorney to help get Veteran's and Medicaid. He's not able to pay for care. Has Hospice,...that's a joke. 2 hours of "bathing help" per week, a quick nurse visit...etc
Is he living in your house, his or are you living with him?

Do you have any children who still live at home?

Does your husband work?

You are mighty young to have quit your job. Have you lost health insurance as well?

Does your dad have any financial resources that might help pay for some caregivers?

Would your dad qualify for Medicaid?

You are only one person, plus you have a marriage to nurture and it does sound like your burned out as the sole caregiver. 1/3 of caregivers die before the person they are caring for dies. You don't want to end up as a statistic.

You do need to consider your own health and future retirement in this whole equation.

I'm glad to hear you have a wonderful husband, but he's only going to be able to absorb so much of your stress. How is that relationship going? I've seen many people lose their spouse while taking care of a parent. You don't want that to happen to you.

Please don't do what some caregivers do in spending what you have saved for your own retirement.

Sorry to hear about your incarcerated brother.
I feel trapped in this house. I feel like I'm back to raising a child again. Them first and you last. I've told hospice I need respite but never get any feedback.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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