I don't know how much longer I can do this.
My mother has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. The cancer has spread to her spine and she can no longer walk. For some reason, her doctor gave her 2 months average to live, but with radiation she's receiving that's not the case anymore. I'm 19 years old, and recently just dropped out of college to take care of my mom. I can only do so much. I have to constantly lift her up and down to go to the bathroom, go to bed, or just go from the kitchen to the living room. It's killing my back. She's also up every hour on the hour at night. She wakes me up every hour to go to the bathroom, have some coffee, and have a cigarette. I get no sleep whatsoever and I'm constantly on edge because I have to take care of everything in the house and take care of her too. She can't control her bowel movements, often going on herself at least once a day and having to clean her up constantly. Part of me resents her for me having to leave school, because I know I'm never going back now.
My second cousin comes and helps out every once in a while, but she's feeling the same way I am; tired. My grandma comes over often but she can't really do anything for her.
We've looked into getting people to help out at home but we don't know when medicaid is going to approve it.
She always tells me I'm a horrible caregiver. Exactly. I'm not a caregiver. I'm a teenager who just gave up her life, friends, boyfriend, and education to take care of her mom, and I feel like I'm going crazy. It's only been like 3 weeks and I'm already at the end of my rope.
If it keeps going on like this, my life span is going to be shorter than hers is.