I am so sick and tired of caring for my old cranky sick child like mother. I want to just go and never come back. No help from 5 siblings other than 'hang in '. She cared for us, now it's time to care for her.
Thank you so much for your feedback. I feel so alone. Didn't realize how many others are going through the same thing. What pisses me off is that the siblings just ASSUME that I will do everything. I am 64. I have no life other than Dr appts( too many to mention) and it is assumed that Joanne will do it all. And God forbid if I complain. 'It's Mom you can't say anything bad'. They are clueless. She has probably had 7-8 falls since January. She weighs 85 lbs. she is alert most of the time but nags the living h*ll out of me. I feel caged. What can I do?
Joaniej231, my ears lay back whenever someone compares caring for a child with that of an adult. Eventually a child learns to do things for themselves and become independent. An adult who is getting older, especially if they have memory issues, is going in reverse.
Also regarding the siblings, sometimes siblings will stop helping or not help because they believe that Mom needs a higher level of care that none of us are professionally trained to do. If the siblings help out, they are enabling Mom to remain at home instead of be in a continuing care complex where there are 3 shifts to help out.... otherwise you will eventually be caregiving 168 hours a week.
Oh My God!! I know how you feel. My husband has 3 sons from a previous marriage and our 2, and only our youngest helps. They never have the time! They could at lease send a gas card or gift care to help with his needs. They always have suggestions of Course!!!!!!
I went thru h*ll coming to terms with caring for my parents...and I had help two days a week!!! I feel for you guys...I hope you either find some help or find a way out of this! For the first 4 years...I was very frugal with money coming in...and FINALLY, when I thought I was going to jump off a bridge...I jumped on a plain and left for 8 days! I paid my brother gooood money to care for my parents...and thank god...he doesn't work. Money comes from their retirement...and savings...but after 6 years now...about a year ago...I realized I could leave whenever I want for a couple of days...and have been doing that. I leave every three months!! It has saved my sanity...and it allows me to live somewhat of a life for myself...while caring for them. Of course I don't feel guilty about spending their money either...I'VE EARNED IT! Gooooood luck, you will find lots of posts like yours!!
I'm so right there with you Joanie, Every day I dream of my old life and I just want to run away and never look back. Its hard and it sucks. Difference is mine DIDNT care for us when we were young and my siblings are just Happy they don't have to do a dam thing but dial the phone once in a while. And people then wonder why your cranky and NEVER Happy anymore.......pffffffffff
Also regarding the siblings, sometimes siblings will stop helping or not help because they believe that Mom needs a higher level of care that none of us are professionally trained to do. If the siblings help out, they are enabling Mom to remain at home instead of be in a continuing care complex where there are 3 shifts to help out.... otherwise you will eventually be caregiving 168 hours a week.