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My mom is Bipolar/ narcissist like my sibling in town. I have no help at all with my elderly mom. Yet I try every second of my life to please this woman! Nothing works! And she insults me daily - I am dumb, fat, ugly, lazy, and I AM SELFISH! I FEEL worthless, I try harder not good enough. She actually accuses my husband & I of stealing her money. We have our own & we are not theives! We need help with HER stuff so we use her money! She is now starting to do these rude things to my kids! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS HOW CAN I STOP THIS BEHAVIOR IN THIS WOMAN! My usually POSITIVE HOME IS A NEGATIVE MEAN household BECAUSE OF HER! I ask for help from sibling in the same town like 20mins away but ITS A BOTHER TO HER! Like she literally tells me suck it up I'm tired. She has the same issues as mom. I need to hire help I can't do this anymore. All this & my kids have serious chronic illnesses & my drs are worried I may have stomach Cancer. I told them both because I'm scared & I need moral support for myself! Of course THEY BOTH BRUSHED IT OFF, FOR DIFFERENT LAME SELFISH EXCUSES! BECAUSE IM NOTHING TOO THEM! THEY DIDNT EVEN ASK IF I WAS OK! MY HUSBAND IS DONE WITH ALL OF THIS! SO AM I! BUT WHAT CAN WE DO! WE ARE STUCK! WE CARE TOO MUCH! FAMILY IS SUPPOSED CARE FOR EACH OTHER!

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Skip the hiring of help and get her OUT of your home. You are not obligated to be a martyr to an abusive harridan in the name of "family." Blood might be thicker than water, but what does it matter when the blood is a toxic, poisonous goo? There are a couple of family members I have cut off from my life over the years, and the mental/emotional peace I gained was worth whatever anyone else in the family thinks of me or says about it.
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If she is living in your home, you start eviction proceedings first thing in the morning. Not all families work. Not all families pitch in and care for each other. It sounds as though there is a good deal of mental illness at work here. Your number one priority is your health and children's well being.

You can ask her nicely to find another living situation, but if she wont, find a legal remedy, which is eviction.

Oh, and when she says "how could you?" tell her "how could you treat my children like that?" What goes around comes around.
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Loveless,
You will never be good enough for your mother or sibling. Ever. Narcissists never accept responsibility for anything. They are always right and you are always wrong. Narcissists have no compassion for anyone but themselves. It's all about them. Narcissists never change. Only you can. You have done enough. Get your mother out of your home and into some sort of assisted living situation. Go no contact before she destroys you and your family. No guilt!
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Get your mom out of your home if she is there. You don't have to put up with this. If she is not in your home - go no contact. They won't change - YOU HAVE TO. What i mean by this is that they will not change their behavior to you and all of your efforts are getting no where. So change what you are willing to do and put up with and protect yourself and your kids. No one says family has to put up with abuse and vitriol. It is OK to eliminate them from your lives.
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