I am tired of this...

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I'm tired of my grandmother calling me every day telling me she's bored and wants me to entertain her. I have already snapped at her and asked, "Who's fault is that?" She still has the ability to drive, use public transport if she doesn't feel comfortable driving. She lives in the suburbs with many options to choose from to socialize with other people. But still wants to have family to abuse and entertain her. Is she depressed? You bet but won't take ownership and get treated for it. So her world has gotten so small that her constant companion is the television, going to the grocery store once a week and the doctor she sees once a month for her kidneys. We used to go every week to help her out but now it's down to once a month because of her pitting one person against the other.


If there is an adult day care center near her, maybe try to persuade her to go there and  socialize with others. You can introduce her to the activities there. It sometimes takes a lot of persuasion, but we need to keep trying in order to be successful.
Do you know why she's pitting you against each other? Have you discussed it with other family members? Maybe, if everyone knows what's going on, they can refuse to let her pull them in. Still, if someone is not treating me right, I'm not going to put myself in that situation. IF she's knowingly treating me poorly and is competent, I'd inform her why.
I think the issue is that she either wants to move in or have someone move in with her and take care of her. She won't consider moving to IL or AL because "she's too poor to afford it.". She starts off by saying things like either me, my mom, or my dad are going to move in and care for her and that's where the theatrics start. Then my aunt calls to berate my parents and I for not taking care of her. This woman and her kids haven't pitched in in 30 years or even visited. She uses that as entertainment and if my mom and I are not there, she calls to say that she is bored. I have left her information for the senior center and a few other things. Will she make the effort to make arrangements? Nope, it requires effort on her part and she doesn't want to be around "all those old people." My response is that, have you looked in the mirror recently?
Good boundaries! Keep them up and I'd stop answering but once a week. Let it go to voicemail and set the ringtone to silent.

When talking to your parents, ask them if they have POA and an advance directive on her yet, while she is still present enough to issue those. This is not your concern, but you could remind them of these documents. She will have a fall at some point and be unable to take care of herself. YOU don't need to sign to bring her home or agree to take a shift. You can be the bad guy who says, no, we need to talk to the social worker because there is no one who can take care of her at home. Medicaid exists as a safety net for folks who lack the funds for a skilled nursing facility.
So she doesn't want to be around all those old people?? Sign her up to read to youngsters at the library! Story time is a hit, and she actually may like it if you can get her to volunteer.

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