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I am there with you! However, I have only been doing it for about two years and it wasn't too bad until my retirement this past summer. My father is still mobile and able to fix his own food, shower by himself and drive short distances. But he expects me to be his slave and entertainer and that is not what I signed up for. He has always been a very volatile, angry person with a history of alcoholism and he now thinks that he should be able to start drinking more again. I never know when he is going to go off, and I am now starting to go out by myself because I always regret it if I bring him with me. Which in turn will probably drive him more towards drinking in secret and who knows what. I have no help from siblings either, and I haven't been able to find a social worker or counselor who is willing to step in and help me figure out how to deal with him. I have been trying!
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Debib, you do sound worn out and tired. Thank you for being such a caring person all these many years. I hope there might be some ways to improve your situation, so that you can look forward to a much better 2018. God bless you.
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debib399, just curious what are your Dad's health issues? That would give us more of a perspective as how to help you with any questions.
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debib,
You don't have to pay for a nursing home if you ever want to choose that option. Medicaid will pay for a nursing home. If you ever get to that point and you look for nursing homes, the one you choose will have a social worker and that social worker will help you apply for Medicaid for your dad.

As someone already mentioned, venting is welcome here :) but if you decide you'd like to have quality of life we can help with that too.
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Dear debib399,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, it sure isn't easy being a caregiver for your whole life with no support from siblings and extended family. I felt this too, that there was no choice and I was stuck. Looking back I really wished I had talked to social worker and see if there were other options. I know you are doing the best you can for your dad. But you also have to try and look out for yourself as well. I hope you will consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group. Please know we are all here to listen and support each other. Thinking of you.
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I need some more help I have been caregiving for over 30 years with very little support. I am feeling the strain and I don't know what to do to relax. I am angry with my family who offers no support since my Dad made me poA which I didn't want. I sold the family farm recently and I've stepped on all their inheritance. I had to take a reverse mortgage out on the house and they got mad about that. He only gets social secuirty and that wasn't enough to pay his bills. I have caregivers in the mornings. I am also on disability and any time I have to make a decision it's difficult for me as I am in a deep state of depression and anxiety. I just want to vent my feelings. I am homebound and he lives next door in his house. I don't have the funds for nursing home and I don't think I could put him in one. He and I both don't have quality of life. I worry all the time. When I have to go down there I am starting to have panic attacks. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just tired and really burn't out. Thanks for listening.
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Can you elaborate?
Who do you take care of?
What are their ailments?
Do you live together?
Is there dementia involved?

We welcome your ranting and griping (cause we all need to do it) but we just need a bit more info.
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