I am 68, lost husband last year. No friends, family. Don't drive and my area has very little transportation. Don't know what to do...

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My only support gone. One sick, one out of area with sick mom. Don't know what to do.
Have reached out to churches & senior support groups with no success. Senior care agencies are very expensive in my area.


Is your depression being treated?

Have you considered locating to an area that is more senior-friendly?
I hesitate, because this is so obvious and I really don't want to offend you...

You don't drive, there's little to no transport provision available, home help where you live is extremely expensive, you are feeling isolated...

Um. Why would you *not* want to move?
You are at an age, just on the precipice of being able to start a new life! Yes, really you are.
Not too late to get your license to drive, if you will.
And other good things to do.

But hurry, hardly any time to grieve, is there? Start with a class often given at senior centers on senior driving safety.

That "precipice" has either a steep decline or a mountain of possibilities to climb when you decide to go for it. I hope you will try.

So sorry for your loss.
For you, I recommend the movie: Boynton Beach Club, starring Dyan Cannon. 2005

It is a romantic comedy, but the part played by Brenda Vaccarro has her driving and starting her new life as a widow, content to live alone with her dog she never knew she wanted.
I am 68 and not sure what I would do without DH. I am from a town of about 13,000. I have lived here all my life. A local Church has a Bible study every Weds morning, these ladies go to lunch afterwards. A group of woman get together once a month for lunch and I join them. As does a group of Class members. Maybe a course at a local County College. If not on Facebook, sign up. You can "friend" former friends and relatives. You will be surprised by making these contacts some old friends will friend you. This is how I found out about these luncheons. When it comes to transportation call your Office of Aging to see if they have Senior bussing. They take you to appts and shopping. They may also have info on their services and help you find others. Please don't be like a friend I have. She complains to everyone who will listen but she won't do anything for herself. Do u belong to a Church? Check and see if they have a grief group. If u don't, check around and see if any of ur Churches have one. They usually allow non-members. You may want to check out independent living. Some don't cost too much more than renting an apartment. You will have ur own apartment. Get meals. They have transportation and activities. Good Luck.
Dear Kaseydog,

It CAN be very scary, and I do feel your pain. But it doesn't HAVE to be scary.
More and more I'm realizing that we feel lonely when we make comparisons with other people's lives. When we truly, fully stop, we have a chance to define ourselves and our lives as we please.

Sendhelp is right. You have a choice. If you decide to see yourself as a warrior, you'll be ready to build the happiest life a strong, resilient woman can have.

with many thoughts of strength
and you do have friends, we are here ! :)

Yes. Go online and search for Senior Housing, Senior Apartments in your state or city & state. You will see listings of Independent Living communities. You will find that many offer free transportation (to doctor appointments, shopping..) with the added bonus of meeting new neighbors & organized social activities. With the aging baby boomers, there are tons of these communities and many are affordable and income based.
I'd like to suggest your local library. if you can't get there, call them to see if they have "outreach" which means they will bring books and DVDs to you once a month. You can learn new skills from DVDs -- Ballroom dancing, knitting, home repair. You can also learn things online. Are you on a computer?

If you can get to the library, they often have a schedule of free adult programs. The librarians will help you get online, get an email account, Facebook. Online classes in computer, learn other languages, listen to audiobooks -- all from your library's website.

Nextdoor.com is a neighborhood page, you can get to know your neighbors. Maybe somebody needs YOU. Is there a young mother near you who could use a babysitter now and then? Is there someone who could use a pet sitter? Is there another caregiver who could use a respite visit?

Online you can begin to comment and contribute to the causes you believe in. And learn about the needs in the world that you can help with. The librarians will help you learn to use a smart phone, and help you if you want to get started with Uber (or Lyft if that's in your area.) Cheaper than taxi service. Another idea -- advertise in your local paper for a driver. Maybe there is a teenager who just got their license who will drive you to the library and the grocery for an affordable fee. Good luck!

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