The greatest gift of all: My husband's grandmother day good-bye right before she passes away.
After two years of caring for my husbands grandma (98) she passed away June 1st. It was a tough two years dealing with her diabetes, high blood pressure, dementia and congestive heart failure. But it was truly a blessing to know she was happy and that she could stay here till the end. She never wanted to go to a nursing home and I promised her I would do everything I could to keep her here. At times she thought this was a home but she was so happy here I didn't let on that this was my home! I didn't have much help at all from family nor her doctor, had to be very insistent on getting her the help or equipment that I needed to care for her. I also had to deal with her own family members steeling from her and trying to dragging her to a lawyer to draw up a will when she was not in her right mind to do so. I thank this site and the people who come here for all their advice and help through out all of this! It was so nice to know I wasn't alone in all of this. There were times it was down right tough to get though the day with the lac of sleep and constant attention she needed. But looking back it was all worth it because she was happy and was never alone! I could see the past eight months her going down hill, but to others she was fine! Thats because they didn't see her everyday and when and if they did take her she was feeling good. I did have some help from Bay Nursing from time to time to help with grams care. This I had to get in her doctors face and say I need and she needs this help. And from time to time I asked for hospice and was told by the doctor and her daughter that that was a death sentence!! But about three months ago the nurse from Bay nursing sat down with me and said she even felt it was time for her to go into hospice because the was slowly declining and they couldn't push her any more. So I had to be very insistent to both her doctor and her daughter that this was the best thing for her. We kept her on all her meds till she in the end refused to take them or she was chocking on them. Others think she passed so fast but I've seen it coming for months! I'm so glad I pushed for this help because they were here for me and her when we needed it the most! Over a span a three days I saw her take a turn for the worse. Three days before she passed I was picking her up out of bed to go sit in the living room. When I got her to her chair she grabbed my hand and pulled me to her chest and hugged me and kept patting my back. Telling me in a soft voice THANKYOU! And she kept kissing my cheek and saying its ok! I knew right then she was saying goodby! I cried in her arms feeling so lucky to have this very special moment with her. It was the last she said a word. I called her daughter and she came over the next day to see her mother now bed ridden and not being able to communicate.This is when I told her she needed to call the family and let them know grams will not be with us much longer. This part is really the saddest part...Her daughter, grandkids and great grandkids all came over to see her! The same people that didn't call to see how she was, not even a card or phone call for mothers day!! And now here they all were to visit with her and she couldn't enjoy them! Seeing them cry made me mad!! How dare they cry when they didn't care enough to come and see her and enjoy her when she could enjoy them! She was only bed ridden for three days when she passed, and I never left her side. I even kept the light on all night so if she was to open her eyes there was still enough light to see that she was still here. I saw the light go out on her eyes and new she had left us and I helped the hospice nurse clean her up and get her ready for the people to come pick her up. I can't thank the people from hospice enough for being there for me and grams. They saw what I was seeing and what the family was refusing to see all along. And to grant her her last wish that none of them get anything including her money, grams had one of the nicest funerals anyone could have. She got top of the line everything!! Spent every last dime on her!!!!! That was a great feeling to make those promises to her and keep them! Now they can all fight over nothing!! But she left me the greatest gift of saying goodby! That to me was priceless!! Now I have to get use to life without her here, and yes its very lonely and empty. But I know she's in a better place and now can remember and walk and smile. Each day will get easier then the one before, but I will never forget that day she said goodby!