Husband with mild dementia steals money out of my purse.
Married 30 years..together 33, in our younger days I worked, owned my own business, for 28 years, he worked for the Navy (now retired after 38 years). He also worked for me on weekends..he had his own money..but also demanded my pay and kept all my money too...said he paid the bills with it..After 8 years and not getting ahead..I withheld money and set it aside ..he did not keep the books at my store...Eventually I bought commercial waterfront property..all the while he was taking whatever he could get hands on, out the cash register, I had a red bag for the banking..I eventually had to get one with a LOCK..he did this GAS LIGHTING THING...I did not do it..you have no proof...I put a safe in the house and locked it..but even that did not keep him out he would the key...after 28 years we sold the property, the house, the business, I paid CASH for the house we live in....and paid off our debts...I bought a truck paid cash...and cash for our car...we were dept free...NOW he is the spender..and he has run up credit cards and wants to take a loan on the house..I SAY NO..YOU PAY them off you ran them up...NOW he is back to stealing from me...out of my purse..he just took 200.00 cash from me...I am a MAID...I have to clean a lot of house to get this saved...and it was for my car insurance...I have other savings...BUT I cannot deal with this...he had stopped doing this for about 8 years..and is not back at it..I have all my accounts in my name only..I just put my cash in a safe deposit box at the bank...and his name is NOT on my account...I never touch is money..even though it is in both our names..I have never written a check or asked him for a thing..but he is now forever again harping on wanting my money..just like he used to do in the old days..I tell him I am only making 1/4 of what he has coming in on his retirement and why should he begrudge me this pittance..I live SMALL..I never go to get my nails done, my hair done, I buy thrift store clothes,, and shoes and I do not have any access spend-age, I am clean and well groomed and Know how to trim my own hair, nails and care for my self..I buy brand labels and look smart in my jeans and tops...I keep things immaculate, and love my Lil Job at the UVA as a Grounds and care taker of the Lab and Dorms for the students..We lived like this many years...where he was doing what I call GAS LIGHTING..because of an old movie where the man wanted his wife to think she was going crazy..I am putting everything on lock down again...we do not sleep in the same room/bed for 3 years now..he has restless leg syndrome and kicks and punches and choke holds me and falls out of the bed and I never got to get any sleep....but NOW I have to consider him the enemy....I hate a thief..but here we go again...I am so naive..I forgive, I hope he will change..I want him to love me......but 30 years he has spent hurting me...and I am trying to save for our old age..nursing care, or funeral..but if he keeps this up...I am going to have him cremated divide the ashes with my sons...and with my part of his ashes..I will toss them in an outhouse and let the entire world S*** ON HIM..cause I am sick of this....I CANNOT TAKE IT I had all of this STEALING I can take...NOW I have to find a place to HIDE EVERYTHING lock my room..up tight..KEEP my car keys away from him...I know he got this money...cause he has gone out this week...he bought me home a box of candy...brought home Chinese food and 12 spring rolls, and got me a BEAUTIFUL CARD....for valentines day....He would never spend his own money on me...he never has in our life together..if he keeps it up..and I have to take care of him ...I have already scouted out a PORT A POTTY ...he s*** on me all our lives...he did wonderful for our boys..he loved and loves them ...but because of him..they treat me the same way he does...and think I am a money tree to shake even though they make over 100,000 per year on there own salary not to mention there wives...They see how there dad treats me..and they were doing the same thing....but I stopped driving that 5 hour drive to put 300.00 in groceries in there house, entertain and cook for the boss ...and clean there house and wash there laundry...and be yelled out and when I ask to spend a moment of time with to just talk...he tell me..MOM why does it always have to be about you? After I made all the beds, bought all the groceries, cooked, cleaned..did all the laundry....Cut the grass...I ask to just talk to him....and it is all about me....I stopped visiting..calling..and emailing...since I don't go up to cook, clean, and cut grass....I get no emails, no calls...and no visit...but my husband went up for 30 days..and left me here this summer to work..and when he came home..his Credit cards were well used!!! GAS, out to DINNER, Hotels when they went out of town...over 3000.00...so when my son said..come up..I said your dad said I had to pay for everything this time..if we come up..and I don't want too!