My husband passed away 2 years ago and my father passed away. My mother took this very hard and we are both grieving.
My husband of 24 years passed away 2 years ago from glioblastoma multiforme, then I moved back to FL to be near my parents, then my Father's kidneys started failing and cancer progressed and he passed 7 months later and during that time I was the only one he would let take care of him. My mother and I were always best friends. Now of course she took this very hard. I moved in with her right away. We are both grieving. I am on ant depression meds. It has been a struggle to get her on any... She can't sleep, without sleeping pills and they make her feel "strange" the next day. So every other day it is either "how am I going to sleep" or "I can't live like this". I have had her try all natural alternatives to no avail. She has also developed an eating issue where nothing tastes good. Which is a big drama for here, even though I have similar problems (I know it is from grief) and will eventually pass. but she says she "can't live like this" and I have taken her to 5 specialists, had tests, xrays, mri's, endoscopy, etc..., done, to the er 3 times even a dentist 3 times, Now she finally went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed meds for sleep and appetite. She took 1 nite and only slept 3 hours and even though I tell her it can take upto 2 wks to fully work. I asked her not to read the side effect sheet, because she will give herself side effects. I have seen her bring her blood pressure up, also the opthamologist tested her eyes she had 20-25 vision then the said it felt like something was in her eye, dr put refresh eye drops in and my mom assumed she put drops in that would affect her vision and then suddenly she couldn't read anything she just breezed thru. She is driving me crazy. All the dr's say she is healthy and grief is playing a large part in her problems. She doesn't believe it and says "something is wrong" even when she doesn't eat enough and gets weak and shaky because of it instead of eating she wants to go to the ER because "something is wrong" then I make her eat enough and rest and she feels better. This has been going on for 6months... EVERY DAY it is one thing or the other. I have done tons of research, tried to inform her, explained over and over again to her. she says yes but her actions show me different. I am now starting to loose my cool because she just won't do anything on her own. she say she wants to stay independent but actions speak louder than words and I tell her that. I cry regularly because I don't want to treat my mother and best friend like this and I just don't know what to do. She is going to bereavement group weekly, I cant go with her because if I need to talk she then makes it all about her. She worries about things she can do nothing about. She even worries when she is trying to sleep that she will get hungry. Maybe just getting this out is all I need. I have no one to talk to. Maybe someone out there can give me some advise or help me find help. Thank you so very much for listening.