It is a never ending battle. He is obsessed with taking pills. His mother was too with her Alzheimers. And I am so exhausted that I am having a hard time keeping up with me. After forcing myself to get out of bed and showering, I have to sit back down and rest before I can make his breakfast.
I finally have a M-F caregiver for a few hours. That is stressful in itself because there is a woman in my house, moving things where I can't find them, doing things not the way I do them, etc. etc. I am trying to be patient with her, her mistakes, her dropping and breaking things. After a year of looking, I finally found someone I can afford. I cannot keep up with the house, his regular meals, and him.
She will need a LOT of training and patience on my part. But at least the dishes are done, the floors are mopped, and the dirty bathrooms are clean. That I can appreciate immediately. That feels great.
But I just can't rest with her and my husband, both needing constant attention and my having to correct their mistakes. And my exhaustion is beyond belief. The depression is debilitating just as much.
I am trying to get out of the house to do fun things, but I don't have the energy nor the interest. I just feel like I am losing the fight. And doctors aren't much help outside of medications. I am already on an antidepressant. Medications don't help much with my Fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis.
I am trying to be grateful and positive, but all I want to do is go to bed and stay there forever. How does one keep on like this? How do I go on to keep my husband healthy until he passes? I feel like I will go before him and that terrifies me because there is no one else to care for him.
I don't see any light at the end of this endless, dark tunnel because I will soon have my mentally ill brother to care for as well.
Any suggestions on how to keep ME going? Should I be making arrangements for my husband in the event I get so sick that I can't take care of him any longer? What kinds of arrangements?
Who can help me figure out the financial arrangements for his care? Anybody have a miracle cure? A magic pill? Thanking you in advance for your advice and your support.