My husband died today of pancreatic cancer.

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His fight began about 3 1/2 years ago. 2 1/2 of that was spent in remission. Now I leave caregiving and begin mourning. What's ahead?
Everyone wants to help but how much can they really do? My family has helped tremendously with phoning almost everyone and helping make all of the necessary arrangements. Neighbors and casual friends offer help but what can they really do?

I'm protected today because family is here to buffer me from the phone for the most part, but real life is still to come and I will have to notify Drs. and any people with whom my husband had made app'ts. and so forth. I've never done this before. I must also try to satisfy my husband's mother and many family members in PA who would like his ashes present for a service up there. So, in effect, a double service.

A new world for me. I hope I cope well but it's a big unknown for me.

15 Comments

Coloresue,
I'm so sorry you lost your dear husband.
One day,One step at a time.....
Take care of Yourself,
Lu
i am so sorry for you,, take care
I am so sorry to read of your husband's passing. I had missed you on the Garden thread and understand now why you hadn't been posting.

It's comforting for family to be with you at this time and help you through some of the planning. I do hope they stay with you for awhile afterward to offer their support as you move forward.
Oh, Colorsue! I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. Take care of yourself and let others buffer you right now.

If any little job occurs to you, jot it down on a pad near the phone. The next caller who says "if I can do anything... gets that job. I know. Easier said than done. Lists have always been a sort of therapy for me.
(((((((hugs))))) and my deepest sympathies. Double services are not that unusual. I have dine that with one a funeral and one a memorial service. Let his family help with planning the second one if you think that will work for you. Glad your family is supportive. Neighbours and casual friends may be able to help you later with some chores, a trip to the mall, a cup of tea or whatever needs unfold as you start this new phase of your life. Again, I am sorry. Look after you.
I am so sorry. Comforting thoughts and cyber hugs are being sent your way.
So sorry for your loss. Prayers and good spirits coming your way. Hugs.
You take it slow, and take care of yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. Don't rush it, feel it. Go to a beautiful place and look at the view. The ocean does it for me. If you find your unable to start again, see a therapist. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you for all of the words of comfort and caring. I appreciate all of them and any advice, also.
Yes, accept any and all the help coming your way.
I like to ask: "What Do You Need? ".... instead of IF you need anything.......
Tell well meaning people what you need.
The tough times are ahead, when everyone returns to their respective lives, and you embark on your own, in an unknown journey. Get support, get busy, and take good care of your health.
My heart goes out to you and we'll be here for the next phase. Stay in touch please. Mulata88

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