My husband bought 2 beers and promised me he would drink one now and the other at night, yeah, right.

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After he finished the first one he popped the second one. I said something about it and he went OFF screaming at me to cut him some slack and why do I ruin everyday for him followed by *(&^$^%&*)*(&^$$%!$%%*^* for about 5 minutes. I thought if I had been closer to him he may have hit me. I think I am hoping ? he will. I think he needs more Seroquel. He is only on 25 am and 25 pm his face was blood red and I thought he was going to stroke out. This has been the first bad out burst since he started the Seroquel. Does he need more now ? I am so upset I am shaking. Right this minute I want him to move out and go his own way but he wouldn't survive. Help???????

17 Comments

You're worried that he wouldn't survive? What about you surviving? Get on the horn and contact his doctor immediately, tell him/her what is happening. Maybe an increase in meds might help or a change in meds.

Tarajane, you are caught between a rock and a hard place. You want what is best for hubby but you don't want to be in the middle of the cross fire. So sad as you know it is his memory issues doing the talking and not him. Is it fair? Of course not. But you need to keep yourself safe, and have plans on what to do in case he becomes violent.
Tara, so he is bad again. He was ok for awhile? Are guns still in the house? Is he an alcoholic? Is that the elephant in the room nobody is talking about. I was just at a presentation this morning where they talked about dementia associated with alcoholism. It is nearly impossible to treat effectively. One os the caregivers there talked about how she let her husband have a beer when they went to dinner with friends just a few nights ago. Because with friends she did not want to embarass her husband by telling him no to the beer. She has done this before and suffers the consequences for many days following the beer consumption. His behaviors change drastically!

I will tell you again that YOU need to get out of there, drive away call 911, tell them what is going on warn them about guns in the house. And get away! Let the pros deal with getting him into the hospital for a geriatric psych assessment. I do not want to hear about the tragic story unfolding right in front of you because you are afraid to get the help you need. Yes it is embarassing, but remember it is the disease that is making him act this way to say nothing about possible interaction between the beers and seroquel!
I would discuss the matter with his doctor and see about having him hospitalized to get his medication adjusted. That way he could be in a controlled environment while they get his meds right. They would be in a position to protect him from himself and others while this is being done. There doesn't seem to be any other safe way to monitor him.
Maybe he is a binge drinker. When he can get it he tries to get as much as he can but it is always just but he promises me he won't drink them together but he does. I know in his earlier years he did love a beer buzz as well as the hard stuff. He grew up around that all his life. He raised tobacco and when it came time to sell it there was always a great celebration. He had access to Moonshine because we are from the hills of KY.. I couldn't be around him 24/7 those days. I went to school and he worked. I think he is an alcoholic. I KNOW he would be if I let him. I go to a meeting tomorrow night and the doctor he goes to for his memory will be there taking questions from our group. I will get to talk to him there without him being there. I will let you know. Well, I did enjoy these last few weeks and if they are coming to an end we will try something else.
Tarajane, just keep yourself safe, above all.
Tara, it sounds like you may be in denial about his alcoholism. There is not a chance of telling an alcoholic no, there is no letting him drink. He is able to do it somehow, someway that you do not know about. A severly ill alcoholic it does not take much alcohol to get the endorphins doing their job. I have walked in your shoes so I do know how very sick these people become and how well they conceal it. I lost my SO a year ago today (he was only 54), he was severely ill with alcoholism, I probably received a gold medal for enabling his behavior. But I was involved with my mom and her hubby for the past four years. I had a very good reason to stay away from SO. I also believe that SO had alcohol dementia. The tell tale sign for me was about 1.5 years ago. He sent something to me in the mail, paperwork that I needed. It was amazing the postal service found me. The envelope was addressed as if a small child had tried to copy the proper format. Return address, stamp, addressee was nowhere close to where they should be on the envelope. It was frightening receiving that mail!

Have you ever attended a Alanon meeting? Do you ever drink with him? Does he think that if you drink it is ok for him to drink? The only way you will ever have of helping him is to stop enabling him and his behaviors. Is his doctor aware of the drinking issue? That is very important for doc to know as it effects everything in his life, especially how his body processes medications.

Another story about my SO. His alcoholism was severe. About 14 months ago, he was found unconscious on the side of a highway. He was transported from one hospital to another, and diagnosed with osteomyelitis, a high risk for alcoholics. Since he was unconscious and the hospitals did not know who to contact, they administed intravenous antibiotics, that alcoholics often are not able to process correctly because of liver damage. The antibiotic caused him to become septic, which led to septic shock because he would not tell anybody about the alcoholism, and they did not know who to call to ask about any sort of history.

I cannot tell you how serious this entire situation is. Take care of you! And to do that, you will need to leave your denial behind, and find the support you need, whatever that may mean.
Some of the side effects of Seroquel include aggression and violence. Cannot imagine alcohol is helping. . .
Seroquel also calms many. We have had a very good experience with it. Unfortunately most drugs work differently on different people.
At my meeting last night I spoke with his doctor and told him about the rage incident. He said to increase the seroquel 25 more mg at night for a week and see if that helps. He also said a person can go up to 600 mg in a span of time if need be. He said the rage incident cannot happen again and we will continue to "tweat his meds". To me Seroquel is a miracle drug.
tweak, not tweat Good Golly too early to be talking !!!!

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