My husband bought 2 beers and promised me he would drink one now and the other at night, yeah, right.

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After he finished the first one he popped the second one. I said something about it and he went OFF screaming at me to cut him some slack and why do I ruin everyday for him followed by *(&^$^%&*)*(&^$$%!$%%*^* for about 5 minutes. I thought if I had been closer to him he may have hit me. I think I am hoping ? he will. I think he needs more Seroquel. He is only on 25 am and 25 pm his face was blood red and I thought he was going to stroke out. This has been the first bad out burst since he started the Seroquel. Does he need more now ? I am so upset I am shaking. Right this minute I want him to move out and go his own way but he wouldn't survive. Help???????

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Oh dear. In the first paragraph I'm NOT trying to tell you a couple of beers would work out ...
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TJ, hugs to you, dear lady.

In our case, I asked the doctor in front of my husband about combining alcohol and his meds. (I didn't want to be the heavy if there were restrictions.) To my surprise he said "limit it to two drinks a day." My husband had never had a drinking problem but he did enjoy wine with a meal or a beer watching a ball game. It worked out just fine for all the years he had dementia. I'm trying to tell you a couple of beers would work out for your husband. Each person is different. If you husband has been a binge drinker or a problem drinker or an alcoholic I'll bet that is very different. Discuss with his doctor, of course. But don't feel like you've done the wrong thing by letting him have alcohol. It could have worked out. How would you or the doctor know in advance?

Seroquel was our first miracle pill, as I've mentioned before. Absolutely go ahead and follow doc's orders to try an increase. My husband took 100 mg once a day, for years. If you're using too little you might as well not use it at all. Let the doctor guide you.

I'd like to echo what several other posters have said: Your number one goal and objective and responsibility at this time is to keep yourself SAFE. I am so glad that you are in touch with his doctor about these rages. Can you keep your cell phone on you at all times, and dial 911 if necessary? If the doctor suggests an in-patient evaluation to adjust meds and it requires you to sign commitment papers, sign them! As our newbie marsalis points out, such evaluations can be enormously helpful in a treatment plan.

I also want to offer a little advice about the situation you describe. I hope I can do it without coming across as judgmental. Your husband's rage is Not Your Fault. It is not because you didn't "handle" it right. You Did Not Cause This.

But maybe a slight adjustment could help reduce risks. If husband buys two beers, expect that he will drink two beers. This is based on past history and also on the fact that his current reasoning ability is seriously damaged. If he promises he will save one of the beers, ignore that. I doubt that his oath would be accepted in a court of law at this point, and you should not accept it either.

So how serious is it if he drinks two beers at once or two spread out over the day? You need to make a decision about that. Is it really worth challenging him about having two at once? If so, the challenge should probably come at time of purchase, or by taking control of one beer and giving it to him later. If it really isn't a Big Deal worth conflict over, then don't mention it. Don't remind him of his "promise" (which he isn't really able to give). Don't spoil his fun with it. Don't get into a conflict. You are still trying to deal with your "real" husband, not this man whose brain is damaged. If you are trying to "teach" him that he has to keep his word and/or that he can't have two beers at one time, save your breath. He is losing his ability to "learn."

Again, I am certainly not blaming you for his rage. Just offering some suggestions for trying to avoid triggering it. And I don't mean this as a substitute for getting medical help with the rage! This is not a DIY project!

I sincerely hope the increase in the seroquel is highly successful. Keep us informed.
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Thank you both..
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I am new to this forum-I just wanted to say that my MIL had to hospitalize my FIN for rage issues. It turned out that it was just a short stay until they fixed his meds. He's back home and things are much better. Good luck!
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Tara, even the doc understands that the rage incidents acnnot happen again! But, they will whenever his meds need to be tweaked more than likely. Unfortunately patterns develop and in this case it is a very dangerous pattern for both of you. The doc sees the danger of them for you! Get hubby in for a psych eval. Let the pros work with him for awhile while you enjoy a few quiet days. Then reevaluate if you are able to care for him at home.
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I have just the regular ALZ meeting the 7th of Nov. I will ask around. Just can't picture him in a facility yet. But I know what's around the corner. Thanks.
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Tara, it's good that the doctor is tweaking the meds.

I want to encourage you to CALL THE DOCTOR when these incidents happen. Don't wait for a group meeting. When your husband exhibits behavioral symptoms, treat the situation as you would the symptoms of a heart attack or stroke...seek help and advice right away.

As his doctor points out, this kind of incident cannot happen again. YOU cannot live with the stress and fear. Are you researching facilities? Always better to be prepared for the future than to let it surprise you. You may never need to place your dear one, but if you do, better that it be a place of your choosing.
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tweak, not tweat Good Golly too early to be talking !!!!
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At my meeting last night I spoke with his doctor and told him about the rage incident. He said to increase the seroquel 25 more mg at night for a week and see if that helps. He also said a person can go up to 600 mg in a span of time if need be. He said the rage incident cannot happen again and we will continue to "tweat his meds". To me Seroquel is a miracle drug.
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Seroquel also calms many. We have had a very good experience with it. Unfortunately most drugs work differently on different people.
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