Hurt and depressed by friends email.

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I recently bumped into an old friend i hadnt seen in years. She gave me her email address so i sent her an email and told her that my life wasnt so good explained how dad died before xmas and mum has dementia.

She said she was sorry to here my life wasnt great and said to "get out there and live your life". I am so hurt as i thought this was insensitive her life is great travelling around with her new man she told me to stop wasting my life?

I am very down now and just cant believe she said this do you think she was insensitive knowing that i have no life with mum being so ill?

Why do some people think you can just walk away and get on with your life? Her dad died last year from cancer she spent a month with him? im just so fed up of peoples comments on how i should just walk away how the hell can i?

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Captain "there are none so blind as them that will not listen". Night all its 3am here I gotta get a life!!!!

Can i just go to bed now without thinking about that turkey in the fridge on a sandwich with coleslaw!

Noooooooooo got to bed ya fat cow!
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Chicago i see from your post that you are a caregiver? but that your mum is in NH? are you living in the home with her? so how are you a caregiver if she is being looked after 24/7 in a home?

Sorry dosnt compute? I will not be here caregiving for long and you are right some people spend too much time at this because they want to or have to theres never a clear solution. I am not in a position to leave my mum and discuss a NH right now and even if i had the money to get out and get a life my mum is not ready for a NH now and the last thing i want is to force her into one against her will so like my friend youve come across a bit insensitive and almost ignorant so whats the deal? why are you on a site for caregiver support when youre only advice is "get out and get a life"?
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lol kaz,
youre still not masking your annoyance very well . i understand fully . the female friend i mentioned earlier is of the " blurt and slam " mentality . blurt out poorly thought crap then slam her ears shut so she cant be swayed to think differently . i shant make an enemy of her for life but she knows the smart mouth will not work with me . mizz popularity , prom / fair queen , bla ..
i call her mizz " no fire - wood " .
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Thanks again guys i feel better now AND i am meeting her sister one day for coffee in the near future so i will have a chat with her even though shes her younger sister shes a bit more mature than my friend. Apart from her insensitive remark i enjoy her company as shes a good laugh and we up and went to europe together at 17yrs so i dont want this to escalate and will not be confronting her about it as its not the time she cant relate to my life and i cant relate to normal right now and i think its best we meet up when im in a better place. When we have met up again in the near future I will be honest with her and tell her that she cant go through life saying without thinking as it can hurt people I dont think she went out of her way to be hurtful but i guess its sad that at 51 she still hasnt grown up and probably never will her mum is on her own now and has diabetes its only a matter of time before her mum gets older and with diabetes she will have serious issues and then she will realise that her mum needs care and then it will be her wake up to "get out and get a life". But im sure daddy left a huge insurance policy and paid carers will be hired which is great if mum agrees to that but as we know on here even money cant bail you out of this crap!
Watch this space by the time the caring falls on her shell be looking for my support and ill say oh dont waste your life put her ina home and "run for the hills".
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Sodonwith? You are so wrong i just dont have it in me to hurt peoples feelings and as long as i live will never really understand people that do. Eh sorry to hear about your mum and my dad which she never mentioned? I hope you get through this and lets meet up soon but basically "get happy" after she only lost her own dad a year ago was i think a bit insensitive and hurtful. Youre wasting your time trying to do the "shrink" thing on me as its quite simple I dont hurt peoples feelings and i always try and see the other persons point of view and imagine what it must be like for them before i open my mouth so yeh I guess that makes me bitter DOH! I warm to genuine people i dont like people who "pretend" life is perfect because its not noone has a perfect life so to make out your life is perfect is superficial and real people see through it so you end up making a fool of yourself. If the tables were turned and she was going through this I would simply be sorry for her and be there for her as a friend not to even help just be there and show some compassion. You have to understand that when come from a small town people are very competitive with each other and now that we are older its whos got the perfect life type crap nobody has but there are those fools who would rather pretend than be open and honest and even share their crap these are the ones who end up bitter and messed up.
I hope that answers your analysis of me as you are so wrong i dont have a resentful bone in my body and my friend is not married and dosnt have kids maybe if she was shed have more compassion?
Thanks for trying the "shrink thing" but id stick with your day job if i were you no offence!
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anyway kaz , i think your friend dont see your burden because to do so might require that she offer to help you ..
see wiki ( pretentious tw*t , lol . )
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im not reading it well either , mouse . i just think most ignorance is willfull . wont listen , already knows everything , strongheaded , etc ..
the military has the most sensible term for blatant stupidity and it can land you in leavenworth prison . --failure to repair ..
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countrymouse,
wiki is agreeing with me.

For other uses, see Ignorance (disambiguation).

Ignorance is a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge).[1] The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult to describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts. Ignoramus is commonly used in the US, the UK, and Ireland as a term for someone who is willfully ignorant.


( willfully ignorant )
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Kazza I would have told the priest the same thing!

I have learned a lot during this caregiver game. I avoid people who I know will not listen to be bitch about my Mom. So needless to say my friend list is short and sweet!
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It seems like your resentment of this person goes back a long way. Your parents divorced and hers didn't. Her childhood was financially trouble-free while yours wasn't. She's married and has children and you're single, am I correct so far?
Feeling resentful won't help you; it'll just make you bitter. No one skates blissfully through life worry-free, and then dies in bed in a fabulous mansion at age 100, next to a hottie less than half their age (well, hardly anyone.) Everyone has sorrows, some people just put up a better front than others. Would you have felt better if your friend told you she was going through a nasty divorce and her children had run away and joined a cult?
Yes, she could have phrased her email better, but the anger you express seems to be about more than the email.
Since you hadn't seen her in years, is she really all that important to you? Losing a parent is hard and you're emotionally vulnerable right now. Try and be kind to youself and don't feed into the "it's not fair" mind-set. Thinking that way will only make you feel worse.
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