Hospital visit brings out anger.
My mother has been in the hospital for her lung condition.. She should get out tomorrow with no complications. Without her I have been staying with my father, and my resentment for him has been hard to deal with.
Everything that he does is exclusively for his own benefit. We had an argument about them moving to subsidized elderly housing in the future. He said point blank that it is more important for him to stay in their home even though they do not have enough money to do so, than it is for him to see my mother less stressed out and to protect her health. I feel only resentment and anger towards him. The feelings of respect and love have been snuffed out.
Now he will take care of my mother as she recovers from the operation; I have to let go and realize that they chose each other and I can't fix the dysfunction. My brothers did not come to see her in the hospital, which is also upsetting. They live 20 minutes away.
This past week I sent out 10 applications for elderly subsidized housing for my parents. It was painful to lay out the specifics of their financial ruin; they seem incapable of filling out these forms and of saving themselves. They watched television while my boyfriend and I spent hours and days on the forms.
Basically I am just trying to get through this. She will come home today and then I will go home. I have to let go of the dysfunction and go back to my own life. Thanks for reading; it helps to vent in this space.