Family got upset because I asked them to leave the room.

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THE MOST IRRITATING PART OF MY JOB BEING A HOSPICE AIDE IS WHEN I HEAR THE FAMILY DISCUSSING WHO GET WHATS RIGHT IN THE ROOM WHEN THEIR LOVE ONE IS PASSING..Why would a family be so disrepectful to their love that is passing, we were taught in class when someone is passing or has passed do not discussed anything in the romm for their hearing is last to go..i had a client awhile back that was on hospice and i spent quite of bi tof time with, this client, families coming in and out friends close friends in out to see their love one, thats was nice and mermorable and im so glad they didnt pass alone, the family was their and thats what i like seeing i hate to see a client that has no family to be with them at then end it is so sad, but when you hav e a large family that comes and sit and talk about who get what and who gets the money discusssing funeral asrragements right in the room that is low and i couldn't takie it anymore, i heard for days that Jack,Jim or carl will get this or Sally, Sue or Jane doesnt need that cause it was dads or mom vice versa or steve havent been home for a decade so he comes in wants to spend time with their love one but the family member thats there wouldnt let him cause he didnt call or come in time, i dnt care what he or she did they still had the right to be there to spend time with their love one, it may not have mount to anything but atleast they were there at the end.Now i may have step over my boundries but i was just up to hear about everything i spent 9 mons with this person and before they got worst they ask to see everyone son i told my supervisor and she contacted the person in charge and told them but when they all got there in and out they discussed alot which that was fine because the person didnt have much time, they ask me questions and i answered them to the best of my knowledge and what i have learned of being in the hospice world..but i never told them to discusssed anything in front of them, but when they did i got furious on the inside and i ask them nicley to leave the room, well one of the family members went off on me and told me to mind my business and i told them as long as im hear taking care of what needs to be taking care its my business and discussing property,money etc is just not approiate in the room while the love one is passing..i feel i was right to do this but in the family case i was wrong

19 Comments

You are100% correct. How disrespectful the family was being at a time like this.!
Upsidedown
You are obviously a kind and caring person... I personnally think what you did was what was best for your patient and I appauld that!!! families can be thoughtless and don't think about the fact that their loved one may still be able to hear them! I have been a hospice nurse and my families caregiver... I think YOU did the right thing! just my 2 cents... take care
You are RIGHT, absolutely and if they didnt like it, thats too bad. When my dad was passing the intern in the hospital asked if we would sign a form let them do an autopsy on him just for their knowledge in training. To this day I pray he didnt hear or understand that, made me furious! Be Strong and do what your gut and your heart tells you to do msdiva.
You did the right thing. When one of my grandparents was living with me, some of the other relatives (who did not visit nor help) showed up and one of my aunts had her daughters (one my age, one two years older) and they were asking right in front of my grandmother what they would be getting when she died! I threw them out of the house.
You did the right thing and you also did a great thing by sharing this story, here on this site so others can carry your idea and passion.
Sometimes blood is not thicker than water when it comes to behavior. What you described would probably be my sister. Thanks for sharing your experience. Even now my mom with Alzheimer's we don't discuss the disease/symptoms etc in front of her. When we visit the neurologist annually i fax over my list of her behaviors and my concerns, questions or ideas. The dr. is able to read this in advance and little discussion is needed once we arrive. she answers the question in such a way that it is innocuous (sp). if i need further explanation or details we step outside the office. I don't want mom hearing anything.

and the intern that ask about the autopsy omg the timing certainly was awful and more.
I agree with you. And, as a professional, well versed in the dying process, you can always remind patients' families that hearing is the last sense to go. That ought to shut up all but the crassest and greediest of them.
How do we know that hearing is the last to go.....
THANK YOU THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU..i thought i was the only one thought this and to you suzmarie i think i can speak for the rest that are professionals or not .. it is the last to go and thats all im gonna say to that..i have experience in about every field of dying stages...it was just awful what had happen but i stood my ground did what my supervisor told me to do. im sure i was a bunch names but i protected my client like i do with all when it comes to them im there. i take alot pride in my work as a hospice aide and i totally enjoy it ..the families can be......well im sure you get the picture but i can handle anything that tossed to me when it comes to taking care of my clients
Suzmarie, I do the same thing as you! I type up questions and situations going on with Mom but I hand it to the nurse for him to read before he comes into the exam room. To see my Mom you would think she knows not a thing, but she might. I take no chances, afterall, I can tell my Mom to kiss me, and she does, and I can make her laugh so she has to understand things. Why give them something to worry about, as the dr said just keep them comfortable and happy, thats all that matters.

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