High temper.

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I am taking care of mom about 10 years. I love mom very much. I take care of her all day (cooking, laundry, cleaning, entertaining, manage Dr appointments...etc. some time I tolerate her accidents. but once she spread the accident all over house I start screaming, yelling --non stop yelling...poor mom tries to calm me... (I hated myself...she is trying to calm me and I know she does not mean to do this)....Many times I feel I am evil. Now I started question myself did I really love mom...why I scream that much with anger....I know this is allot of work... it takes me to clean the house with this miss 4-6 hours ... I feel after that I am so tired. My sister when knew what I did she screaming at me and she said God will punish me... My mother done alot for us and I should expect this could happen that. My sister insists I should get living assistant at home for few hours. I refuse to do that. I need a full break and not a stranger in the house. I feel guilty toward Mom....I feel sorry for mom I know she is the best mom in the world but I feel sorry for myself...no one understand how this is hard

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