Helping mom through a terminal diagnosis.
I'm not sure I'm posting in the right forum, but here it goes!
My Mom has two types of unrelated cancer. One of which is kept stable with medication and now, unfortunately, lung cancer. Although she has the less aggressive type of lung cancer her treatment options were severely limited and after a week or so of radiation she decided she didn't want to continue with it. It's her decision to make and although family and physicians don't necessarily agree, we respect her choice. Her oncologists say they can't give a prognosis because it's different for everyone, but her primary care physician has said maybe a few months.
She is utterly miserable. She suffers with depression anyway, but she really is just fed up now. She is at home, doesn't get out of bed, and barely eats. Hospice is involved, but they're under-resourced and have no beds (welcome to Europe!) so the home care nurse visits once a fortnight to see how she is and that's it. We lost Dad a couple of years ago and we're a small family with me as the primary caregiver. She would like to go to some kind of nursing home etc. so I don't have to care for her, but there isn't anything suitable where we live. Hospice will take you if they have a bed and you have a couple of weeks max to live, and regular nursing homes don't cater for someone with the range of illnesses she has. I want her to comfortable and happy (?) for whatever time she has left, but she is just so sad I don't know what to do.
There's also the issue that in a way I don't think she's processed exactly how sick she really is. She's 100% on the mental front, but some of the things she says make me think she doesn't quite get it yet. I can't imagine what a terminal diagnosis does to a person so all I can do is be there for her. She asks every day why she's so sick, when will it get better etc. etc.
Has anyone else been through this? Did anything help? Thanks so much.