Helping mom all we can, and it's not enough.
She lives with me and my husband, she's been here about a month and a half. Our whole lives have been dramatically changed. Our lives revolve around caring for her. She has so many illnesses and doctor appointments, and with her being on oxygen 24/7 it is hard getting her out of the house. She can walk, but has a crooked leg and gets short of breath just from the little bit of walking she does around the house. We spend most of the day in the living room with her, and it is so hard. She has a lot of self pity, and is moody, and obsesses over her medicine and her nose, yes, her nose which I mentioned before has a deviated septum. She has copd too but thinks all her breathing problems stem from her nasal problems. We took her to an ENT doctor today and I was shocked to hear from him that her whole septum is gone, it is literally just a big whole there. This happened partly from sinus and allergy problems most of her life but also partly from her constant use of medicated nose sprays for the past 40-50 yrs. Now she only uses the saline sprays. On top of those two conditions she has a-fib, diabetes, and congestive heart failure. Is almost deaf, and bad vision, plus she has depression, (off and on her whole life) and anxiety. Jim & I are doing the best we can to care for her and include her in our lives. I love her, but she is so hard to live with! I am so stressed much of the time because her fingers are in her nose all the time, then she is touching everything in the house. Plus she told us about a week ago that she is so lonely, her way of saying we don't pay enough attention to her. I'm frustrated because we are giving and giving, and it's not enough. The stress is mounting and we are trying our best. I got her some large print books at the library and that gives her something to do, she has a lrg screen tv in her room, but mostly wants to be in the living room talking. i told her were doing all we can, but I cannot just sit with her, not as much as she expects. I'm exhausted every day and find myself feeling angry and resentful at times, my hubby does too. We being smothered. Why do they become so selfish and self centered when they get older? How can we go on like this indefinitely? We have barely started and are feeling burned-out. She hates and is afraid of nursing homes since she worked in one about 40 yrs ago. To her that would be dishonoring her, and unloving.