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ok where do i begin. A few years ago we moved in with a my husbands grandmother thinking we could help out. The house is paid for so we thought we would help with some repairs that were and still are very necessary. long story short his grandmother felt we were to invasive and she was afraid we were taking over and going to put her in a nursing home. So we moved out feeling very hurt and tried to reassure everyone that her fears were totally unfounded. NOW we know she has Alzhiemers and we hate to say "told you so" to family but that sort of the situation we are in. With her only child being gone already and now her siblings are getting to old themselves to take of her, guess what they want to do that we would never do? PUT HER IN A HOME! The very thing she told us was her worst fear. Anyway I really need some advise because I am willing to take of her as I have special needs experience but before we take the plunge I need to know how us taking her in would affect her in home nursing care she already receives as well as medicaid and social security. we do not make much money so we are concerned. we were thinking it would make more sense to put the house she fully owns in my husbands name and either living there so she does not have to make so many changes and renting out our house or vice versa. I know some feel this is wrong and that her house should go to pay for care but we feel that it makes much more sense for her to stay with family and that would be better "care" than to put her in a home. I mean we already own a home and I know I would hate to see it go to the a nursing home where my family stuck me instead of it going to loving family that would give me more loving care than any "home" would ever give. Anyway I know that's illegal to transfer ownership before home placement not that I would try it anyway. We would really rather she stay with us. Any one out their that could help us I would greatly appreciate it!

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If your husband's grandmother is already on Medicaid, her home is already subject recovery or reimbursement to Medicaid for expenses they have encountered on her behalf.

It would be nice if you could live in her house with her and provide care, but I would strongly advise you to get guidance from and elder law attorney. There are rules you need to be aware of before you make a mistake rather than after.

Best wishes, Cattails
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Hi, I am a nurse and I work for a Skilled Nursing Facility (aka Nursing home) First you should look into finding a lawyer that specializes in Elder Care Law. A lot of families are trying to do just what you are trying to do...keeping your loved ones at home knowing that is what they want. I think the best option to prolong and keep the quality of life high for your loved one is to keep her in her own home. Persons with Dementia rely on their routine to keep them "sane" due to knowing that they are loosing their facets. Having a family meeting with key members of the family(not discluding anyone close to the said loved one) is probably best but only after you have talked to a lawyer about your options legally. You could even look at finding a live in healthcare provider. If you choose to have a different person come into the home to take care of her then you need to have an interview with her there and in the evening. Dementia patients tend to "sundown" and this is noticable by behaviors and increased confusion. The person taking care of her should be someone that she trusts and likes during these times. Also making sure someone in the family is available or "on call" in the evening incase the caregiver needs assistance. Another concern is safety. With the developement of dementia and increasing in sundowning they tend to try and find something or someone even if they are right there talking to them and will leave the safety of the house. You need to look at possible escape routes and without trapping oneself in the house incase of an emergency you need to keep your loved one safe. Also remember the stove, microwave, iron, washer, dryer etc. At the nursing home I work at, we admitted a resident with dementia that was cooking dinner for her husband....it was a shoe in the oven. I think I have covered most concerns about the home. Good luck to you and your loved one. Dementia is a horrible disease for the ones closest to the person affected as well as the person affected but you can learn a lot about the loved one affected. You can learn a lot about what kind of person they were in their younger years. Typical Alzheimers Dementia tend to regress through the years. It can be a sweetly sorrow filled journey.
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