How about hearing from those who have been in an assisted facitlity and have seen what happened during their stay there,

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Would like to hear more from others on the above. Having been in that situation for three years or more it might enlighten others to share their experiences. I am not going into detail about what happened in my case but will just say at first I needed the assistance and it was wonderful, I bonded right away with the staff and still keep in touch with them. But it was the administartor and her assistant and one so called aide that all of a sudden they did not like the fact that I had my mind so to speak, saw things, was friends with all the staff and they with me and they did not like that. They preferred I needed their help in all things like showering, going to bed at a certain time, not fraternizing with staff, I became very mobile, drove my own car till I gave it up, took the bus then, loved to socialize and at first they thought that was great but the more I could do for myself the more upset they got. They even went so far that they told the nurses at their meetings don't tell me anything, I just heard that recently. and my meds, oh my, how they got those fouled up. went without blood pressure meds for like three weeks and my own daughter who is a nurse was the one who laid down the law on them for that but it was her that actually got them ordered and picked up and it got even worse. So upshot was i had a big melt down and my daughter came in at that time and wanted to know what was wrong so I told her everything so they said you are not staying here and in two days they found a nice place that is independent living for seniors, I have a nice apartment now, entirely on my own and doing fine. In the meantime the other place as I call it has now been hiring and firing, hiring and firing not only aides but RNs as well, they can't keep anyone very long, they either quit or get fired and it is still going on. Three DONs walked out, not good. So what I would say to any caregiver that is thinking of putting their parents into these places, don't just let the main ones talk you into anything, inquire from the residents how they like where they are or check with former residents, the nurses and aides who used to work there, get an educated on what really goes on between closed doors. And check out the prices, just don't take it for granted that is what they charge, I have a friend still there after 8 years, has her own home but cannot live alone, in a W/C, can't walk, can't raise her arms only about to her shoulders, she has a very small room, it does have a Bathroom but not for the handicapped, she pays $2900, she tells me all the time how unhappy she is as they really don't like her and she knows it. I keep in touch not to find out that stuff but because she is very lonely and her only child lives in Ca. so she has no one here. Well I said I was not going to say this much but when I got started it was hard to quit so I will quit. Just think there should be a forum for people who are in any assisted facilities/homes to be able to vent. Just my opinion.


We all have to realize that not all care facilities will be the same.

As for talking to the residents at these care facilities, it depends on why the resident is there in the first place.... you might get very negative replies because that person wants to move back home, when it isn't wise for them to do so.

And on the other side of the coin, there will be residents who love being there, and are glad that they had moved in.
P.S. I just read another post you wrote in February, where you were in a care facility and didn't like it, and then had moved to a much nicer one. Is your post above about this current facility or the previous one?
memaw, you experience is pretty typical, patients want to get out and go home, so they do find fault with things. Mom keeps saying she wants to go back home, but she has been to the ER six times in the last year, so it is just not safe for her. She likes some of her aides, but if they are not young and pretty and female and white, she will find fault with them. She will complain about the skimpy food, but she is gaining weight. She will complain she is not getting meds, but we check and they are the right meds. She complains when she can't get on a bus trip, but she never signs up, she just shows up and the seats are filled. She complains about not getting help, but she admits she pushes the button "just to see how long it takes them".
Facilities do turn over help quite often, all of them do. I think sometimes the help just burns out, like families burn out, and they go elsewhere. The happiest residents are ones who accept where they are and who they are with.
Amen to pamstegman. I worked at an assisted for 10 years. Marketing director. When someone doesn't want to be at an assisted, they find fault with everything. I was giving a tour to a family one day and the daughter asked one of the residents, "How is the food here?" The resident answered "It's crap." Upon questioning her, it was because it wasn't seasoned to her liking. No salt, bland tacos, etc. I explained we don't add salt in the kitchen, but there are shakers at the table. Residents are welcome to bring other condiments to the table anytime.
No one is beating the door down to get in an assisted living. Imagine giving up your home and or car. Leaving the place you've lived in for 40 or 50 years. The place where you life is. The place you started your honeymoon in. The place you raised your children in. It's rare when someone will admit they need the help in the first place. We don't want to loose our independence. Believe me when I say the majority of workers in assisted livings do a good job. There is always a few bad apples. There is everywhere. When a poor employee was brought to our attention, the were given a plan for correction and had better shape up or ship out. Honestly, we wanted to provide the best assistance possible or people won't stay there.

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