I have my mom's furniture and it saddens me.

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After my mom's death I moved her furniture into storage, then into my apartment. It's great furniture that goes back to when I was a little child, but now when I look at it, it brings back bad memories of my mom's death. I find I can't go into the living room now where the furniture is. It just saddens me to look at it and remember my mom. I would hate to give it away because that's a loss. But it seems to remind me of my past growing up which wasn't so nice, and of my mom's last struggles with her health and death. Any suggestions on how to deal with that? Thanks!


Get an estate liquidation company to come to your house, appraise it, and sell it. Depending on the style, the furniture could be worth some serious money. Is it retro? 1950s stuff is very hot. Antiques on the other hand are not. Use the money to buy yourself new furniture.

Another option is to change the way the furniture looks. There are lots of DIY furniture ideas on the web like painting furniture using enamel or stenciling. Stripping it and changing the finish from dark to light.

Do you have a furniture restorer near you? Sometimes you can trade with them and swap out pieces you don't like/make you sad for something that you like and will make you happy.
Dear Bloom,

During the first year of grief, I would try to put off any decisions. Its easy to make one that you might regret later as your mind processes your mom's passing. I know it hurts right now to look at the furniture. I'm in the same boat. It hurts to look at my dad's shoes and clothes since his passing. I have donated a lot to the homeless but kept a few items for myself. Yet, I wonder if I should keep anything at all and just let it go. I think this is a common struggle. Everyone in my life tells me to wait one year before making any big decisions. I still have my dad's house and car and paperwork to deal with still. I know it can feel overwhelming, but maybe just give it another month and see how you feel then.
My FIL wanted to downsize after his wife died in December. He asked my husband to find him a smaller apartment in the independent living building where he resides. My husband did, took his dad to see it and he liked it. FIL was looking forward to moving, was planning what he wanted to take, etc. All good signs!

And then...

A family member closer in age to my FIL told my FIL to not make any big decisions..."too soon"...."you will regret it"... And what exactly did that family member do after he opened his big mouth? Went home to his wife and left for a family vacation! Mr. Big Mouth convinced my FIL that the move was a mistake and FIL called it off.

I wish that family member had kept his big mouth shut because now my FIL is surrounded by painful memories of his wife. He says waking up in their bedroom is painful.

It's too late to get FIL another apartment because none are vacant and there's a waiting list. FIL is more depressed and rapidly deteriorating. And there's nothing that can be done about it. If you don't like the furniture just get rid of it. You will not regret feeling better.
Both of my parents were carried out of this home and every single thing they ever owned is right here.I'm surrounded by memories and it is hard Bloom.I guess we have to remember that it's just stuff and we don't take anything with us when we go.Maybe someday you'll be glad you have it or you will know when it's the right time to let it go.I understand your sadness and I'm sorry.Take care-
I have the opposite problem. After my Mom died I was just raw and since I'd done just about everything before my Mom died I left cleaning out her stuff to my sister who proceeded to call 1-800-gotjunk who hauled just about everything away and charged $1000.00 dollars for it which sis took out of my Mom's savings. Fortunately, I had already rescued the photo albums, trinkets etc. which I still have. I felt guilty at first for having it all but no one has ever shown the least little interest in any of it so I am glad I have it.But it would have been nice to save my Mom's old Singer sewing machine and a few other things. Sis just isn't that sentimental...........I guess.
I haven't touched anything because it states in the will that the 3 of us "Kids" are to go through each room,drawer,closet,etc.Together and my 2brother's haven't even read the will,much less lifted a finger to do anything which shows my Mother in Heaven and I no respect.
bloomschool, there are times I wished I had my parent's bedroom set as it was beautiful heavy furniture from the 1930's. At the time I didn't room for it, so it was donated. I was able to bring into my home the bookcase, that my Dad made, that was mine when I was a child.

Now ideas for the furniture, depending on what furniture you have that had belonged to Mom, you can always dress up the top of the furniture with decorative cloths and place a small lamp. Try to make it your own.
I can understand how furniture can bring up an emotion, and if those emotions still happen, time to donate or pass onto another family member.

I wished I would have kept my parents 1930's bedroom set. Beautiful dark heavy wood, I just didn't have room for it at that time, as I am slowly downsizing my own home.

For me, there are a ton a photos. My great-grandfather was a professional photographer so I have some great portraits... except, who are some of these people? Wish there were names written on the back... [sigh].

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