Feeling guilty of putting mom in a adult assisted living home.
I feel so guilty every single day that I had to put my mom in an elderly assited living home. Mom is ill, she has multiple problems. Mom has dementia, broken hip, diabetes, high blood pressure, has had conjestive heart failure. My mom lived with my Grandmother mostly all of her life. As my Grandmother aged, my mom took care of her 24/7, in my grandmother's older years 90+ the demands of my mom were greater...then she died. My mom still lived in her home with a roomate afterwards but the dementia seemed to excel very quickley after her moms death. She was not eating, was not bathing or changing her clothes, would stay in her pajamas all day. She eventually had to be admitted to the hospital where they then sent her to a nursing home facility do to her abnormal counts of diabetes. Then she fell there and broke her hip! Ater the 100 days that the facility said was their max and they said that she had reached her "maximum rehabilitation" I was told she had to exit. I thought that the best thing to do was to bring her home with me. Well, after 2 weeks, my family was so upset, she was yelling at everyone, got so bad that my teenage daughter was crying everyday because the "Nonna" that loved her so much was yelling at her and calling her spoiled and stupid. The in home care giver was also ready to give up. I then decided that I would place mom in a "Adult assisted Living home" She was unhappy for the first few days but since after is okay there, she has gained 20 pounds, eats alot, cares about her appearance, dresses and is active with the others at the facilility. Her short term memory is gone...she talks about her dead mom as if she was still alive...she asks me where I live, although she has been there many times...she's still in a wheelchair from the broken hip.. She says she wants to go home with me or back to her house. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or being selfish...I feel so guilty! Anyone out there going throught the similiar situation?