Guilt over placing Dad in nursing home.
My sister and placed our 84 year old father in a nursing facility a couple of months ago. He has congestive heart failure and was having some confusing moments, had fallen on different occasions, left the gas on the stove on, etc. We both worked and could not afford to give up our jobs and insurance benefits. Dad became more confused in the nursing facility, wanders a lot, when the staff try to assist him, he becomes agitated and becomes like a caged animal and thinks everyone is trying to get him. It was just recently brought to our attention that he had enough "episodes" that he was going to have to be admitted to a "behavior center" to "adjust his medication" We didn't feel we had a choice so we went with the staff to admit him to the "behavior" center. We were not allowed to stay and we had to watch our dad being left in a strange place with strange people and we could see the anxiety when we left. This all happened so fast and we were just left feeling like we had absolutely pushed him over the mental edge and the two times we have visited him, he talks to us, but nothing makes much sense and he is very listless, not to mention his mobility has declined. All of his vital signs are good and they have really not changed his medication, but the complete change of demeanor has us puzzled not to mention the awful guilt we both feel. I have never felt so helpless, not to mention how helpless my dad must feel. I have cried and prayed until I don't know what to do, as has my sister. I need some input. I have told myself that if he makes it out of the "behavior" center and is still able to be mobile that I am bundling him up and bringing him home. I think the nursing home jumped the gun on sending him away.